


Bluebells and roses

by ARMEN15



Category: Brokeback Mountain (2005)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-26
Updated: 2019-01-24
Packaged: 2019-04-28 03:31:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 23,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14440521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ARMEN15/pseuds/ARMEN15
Summary: An AU AU  reposted from FF.net





	1. Chapter 1

Title: Bluebells and roses.

Part 1 - Introduction.

This is an AU/AU, the first part is an „appetizer” for the readers. Hope you like it. It is a tribute to a great short story and a marvellous film but also to an European country whose language I studied and loved since I was a child. 

Disclaimer: intellectual property of Ms. Proulx, no commercial use, no copyright infringment. 

Special thanks as usual to my dear Beta Carol, her help is so precious for a not English born like me. 

\------------------------------

Since he was a child, the small hunting cottage his great-grandfather had built so many years ago, nestled in the most secluded area of their estate, was his secret hideaway.  
There he played with his older brother when they were little boys, he hid under the same small roof when his mother died of a heart disease and years after when his brother was declared dead during the war, deep down in South Africa.   
Now, at 21, he still used it, although it became harder and harder to disappear from the great house, his father often needing him, often searching him out for the most silly reasons, for things the servants could do very well without controlling them every moment.  
Since his sister’s health was not good, so fragile and thin, often refusing food, he was the only one the family could count on, and everybody knew it.  
His duty was to be the next Earl. Earl Delmar, the 6th. He had not been raised for that, but life, or rather his brother’s death, had changed his path.  
The title had belonged to his family for generations and so the great house and the fields all around.  
He lit another cigarette, smoked it slowly sitting against the small door, taking long pauses and letting the ashes land on the grass with a gentle curve.   
A noise from the bushes on the right startled him. He tensed, in wait.  
“Is it you?” Ennis asked.  
“Yes,” said the figure slowly approaching, wearing the working dress of an underbutler, but without the formal jacket on.  
Black trousers, a white shirt. They fit perfectly on his slim body, made him more sensual than any fancy gentleman’s dress could. He should have been the son of a landowner, not of a poor farmer.  
The first two buttons of his shirt were open, revealing the toned upper chest, no hair, no scars, a glimpse of his pectorals.  
“Come here.” Ennis extended his hand and the man took it, kissing the palm softly.  
“My darling,” he murmured, putting the hand over his heart.  
Ennis soon relaxed, the cigarette long forgotten, lost in the rhythm of the heart he loved most in the world.  
“I’ll miss you so much.”  
“Me too, it will be so painful not seeing you every day.”  
“Lureen keeps telling me it’s only for two months, but I’m so worried. Without both of you, only me and father. I’m sure I cannot resist.”   
“You must, we believe in you. Try to think of all the many new things you’ll see.”   
“All because Kenneth died in that damned war. Now I’m the next Earl, and father obliges me to travel with him to India. Why can’t you come with us?”  
“I’d like to, but your father needs his own butler, I’m the second underbutler, and only because your sister talked with Mrs. Evans.”  
“Evans is the most aggravating butler I’ve ever met. I wonder how Mrs Evans bears him. He doesn’t recognize your ability.”   
“You’re partial to me, and you know it!”  
“So I’m partial?” Ennis retorted, moving his hands to grab the man’s wrists, pushing him against the cottage wall, letting him feel the hardness under his belt.  
“Yes, my lord, you never complained when I broke a plate, or when I was late in refilling glasses, or when you saw a wrinkle on your shirt, or...” The man’s breath become harsher when Ennis started caressing his cock, slowly opening the buttons and inserting a hand inside the trousers.  
“Go on, I like your voice.”   
“Only my voice Ennis?”

TBC

Please add your opinion, thanks!


	2. Chapter 2

BLUEBELLS AND ROSES 

CHAPTER 2 

Disclaimer: intellectual property of Ms. Proulx, no commercial use, no copyright infringment. 

 

Jack Twist remembered well the first time he saw the House of the Delmar family. He was in the summer of his 14th birthday and his father decided it was time for him to go into service, instead of breaking his back in the coal mine. No other opportunities for a family whose land needed only a single set of arms to cultivate it. John Twist arranged everything through his brother-in-law, one of the gardeners of the House. Jack attended school making good grades, but the Twists were too poor to give him a better education.  
Jack was too afraid of his father - who often beat him with a leather whip – to feel relieved at being away from John Twist. His father’s rage started every time the boy failed in doing something and Jack was sure his father hated him. Surely he wasn’t the kind of son John Twist wanted.   
The first day of July Claire Twist dressed Jack in his only jacket - cut from an old one that belonged to her husband - and kissed his sweaty forehead one last time before leaving their small kitchen with tears in her eyes.   
Jack was an only child. Mother and son were very close, especially after giving birth to him, which left her unable to have other children. Claire Twist couldn’t imagine her life without her baby, but she knew well that a growing Jack and her John were not meant to live too near each other.  
John Twist gave him a strong handshake and entrusted him to Uncle Harold, a silent man who didn’t speak a lot during their walk. Jack was so nervous that he remained silent, too.  
The road wasn’t long but Jack was anxious to arrive; curiosity was ruling him and at every turn of the road he hoped to see the gates of the estate.  
When they reached the wide driveway and Jack saw the house his jaw fell open in wonderment, it was so huge! Bigger than the stone church of the Sunday service, bigger than the whole village, he thought.  
At a first glance, he noticed there were three floors in the central building, a large stair leading to the back gardens and two lower wings, with ivy on the walls.  
They entered through the service door and his uncle asked immediately for the head butler.  
A woman with broad shoulders, grey hair and a strong lavender perfume, lead them to Mr Evans’ private parlour.  
Jack took off his hat and stood immobile while the men discussed his future.  
His uncle was deferential with the other man, keeping hat in hands and head low.  
Jack took only a glimpse of the parlour, a cozy fireplace, two big chairs, flowers in a vase and a collection of pipes. All signs of wealth to a poor boy like him. Mr Evans was in his fifties, very tall and with a prominent bald spot on his head. He pierced Jack with an icy stare and the boy trembled a little.   
An hour later Jack had a room shared with two others young valets, new tasks and a uniform too large for him. The woman he met before, the housekeeper, explained that he’d soon become taller and bigger, so no need to alter it now. A larger uniform would last for more months into the future.  
At the servants’ dinner table there were 18 people, mostly maids, because married men, like Jack’s uncle, had their own small apartments around the house or in the village.   
Jack didn’t speak a word, too afraid to talk. The cook placed two large plates in front of the butler, one with meat, the other full of various vegetables; Mr Evans - who was sitting in front of his wife - took their portions first, then the housekeeper’s and so on, following the importance of the various servants. Jack was hungry and eyed the plate often, afraid the food would end before his turn. Luckily the portion Mr. Evans gave him was enough for two men and Jack didn’t see the approving look Mrs Evans gave her husband. She had noticed the new boy during the afternoon and felt a spontaneous maternal feeling toward him.  
Jack went to bed in silence, his roommates treated him like a ghost. They shared cigarettes and spicy secrets without caring if Jack was asleep or awake.  
The bell rang for him at 5 am and after a quick breakfast – surely three times the size he had at home - his first day become a collection of cuts and bruises on his arms due to the pieces of firewood he moved all day from outside to the various rooms. It seemed the fireplaces in the house were neverending and always burning.   
Mr Evans wanted to see if he showed some particular aptitudes before deciding where and how to use him, so he told Jack he would spend his first week working between the kitchen, the barn and the garden.  
He added a brief description of the house but Jack was confused after only half of the rooms on the ground floor. Words like dining room, drawing room, library, were foreign for him.  
“I’ll ask Victor to help you these first days, he’s the oldest valet. You already met the others at dinner or this morning, so no further needs of introduction.”  
Jack remembered only a sea of faces and he had no clue who Victor could be.  
“About the family, his lordship is very demanding, although he’s rarely been at home these last months.  
Lord Kenneth is 16 and will be back tomorrow from London. Mister Ennis is the youngest and he’s often in the barn with the horses.”   
He paused to breathe and Jack did the math: why was Mr Evans not talking about Lady Delmar?  
He remembered that once Uncle Harold described a beautiful lady who had lots of ideas about her beloved garden.   
“And Lady Delmar?” he questioned cautiously, wanting so much to appear interested in his future duties.  
A shadow passed over Mr Evans’ face. His features tensed for a second before continuing impassive as always.  
“Lady Delmar unfortunately died four years ago, the family still mourns her every day. Especially Mister Ennis and his sister, who is ill and after the death of her mother often remains in her room.   
“I hope Miss Delmar will feel better soon.”  
Jack cursed again his boldness, his mouth was speaking without control.   
“Miss Newsome is a sweet lady and the whole staff tries to do their best for her.”  
Jack was more confused than before with the use of different family names, but decided to curb his tongue; his new life was nothing compared to the previous one.

 

The first time Jack noticed the younger son of the family was three days after his arrival; he was outside the barn and Ennis Delmar was approaching on a horse, returning from an afternoon ride.  
They were of the same age, Mr Evans said, but Ennis Delmar seemed older, taller and more muscular than Jack, with long blonde curls hidden under a creamy hat, following the fashion of the time and eyes like honey, soft and deep. He was dressed in green, a velvet jacket and hunting trousers, with a mantel to protect him from the rain.  
“Hey boy, help me with the horse,” he told Jack when he spotted the new servant carrying a bowl.  
Evans informed him the day before of the new help, always eager to give the curious Ennis details of the life of the house.  
“Yes sir.”  
Jack swiftly took the hat and the mantel he was given and handled the wet horse blanket as instructed.  
“Your’re new here?”  
“Yes sir.”  
“Your only word is yes sir?”  
“No sir.”  
“Better. What’s your name?”  
“Jack sir.“  
“Did your parents stop at Jack?”  
“Jack Twist sir.”  
Ennis looked at him for the first time and noticed the colour of his eyes. Deep shades of blue, like spring skies. The boy seemed different from the others he had met before; deferential but not too much, a strange dignity in his posture.  
“I’m Ennis, not sir, not Mister Ennis. I’m the youngest. My brother is Lord Delmar. Did you meet him already?”  
“Yes sir Ennis, yesterday he needed wood for the fire.”  
“He’s always cold, he says in his school the fires are always off. Strange place it must be. Where do you come from?”  
“From the village.”  
“I never saw blue eyes like yours around here.”  
“My mother is Irish, she was born there.... she says I’m the portrait of my grandfather, but I’ve never met him.”   
“Where does she live?”  
“At our farm. I’ve a portrait of her in my necklace. Do you want to see her?”  
Later Jack was surprised by his own attitude with his young master, but Ennis’ face was so bright at the idea that Jack slid a hand under his shirt for the thin silver chain that belonged to his maternal grandmother.  
The picture of Claire Twist was very small and damaged on the left side. Ennis took it carefully, afraid to let it fall on the ground.   
“She’s beautiful, you resemble her a lot.”  
He sighed and suddenly handed the locket back and headed for the house.  
“I miss mine,” Jack heard him whispering to the wind.

 

They soon became friends; both lonely, without mothers – Ennis’ died four years before, Jack remembered Mr Evans’ words – and without other boys of the same age around. Ennis taught Jack how to deal with his personal horse, Signal. Later that summer, when his father was again away for a month, he gave Jack riding lessons during his few hours free from service. Ennis spent a week in convincing Jack, who was reluctant, afraid to be seen by Mr Evans, and agreed only when Ennis took him to the old hunting cabin. It was a long walk, but it was worth it, both for the loveliness of the place and for the amazing experience to ride a horse.   
Signal was a quiet animal, obedient to Ennis’ commands and he easily accepted another rider on his back. The first time Jack rode Signal without Ennis holding the reins was an amazing experience, feeling the horse moving under him. The freedom of movement became a dream for Jack, and he started imagining having his own horse, some day.   
Unfortunately the riding lessons ended as soon as September arrived; Ennis was now away at school and Jack felt alone during the cold winter, when days were so short and the house full of dark rooms.  
Lord Charles was often away and sometimes Mr Evans went with him.Jack was always busy but he was happy to work for Miss Lureen Newsome, Ennis’ older stepsister from Lady Delmar’s first marriage. She really was an angel on earth, Jack often thought, the sweetest lady he ever met.  
Her health was so fragile she was often confined to her little apartment, but she accepted her seclusion, grateful to avoid her stepfather. Only when her brothers were at home was her face radiant.  
The second winter of Jack working for the Delmar family was one of the worst in Lureen’s life. She started coughing in October when she was surprised by a sudden rain returning from the church service with Kenneth. Her brother whipped the horses and tried to lift the cover but the carriage was slowed down by the mud on the road.  
They were completely soaked when they reached home; the maids prepared a new fire in Lureen’s room and the housekeeper arrived with hot tea. The morning after Lureen was feverish, Dr. Stoutamire was called and gave a list of prescriptions, before reminding Kenneth that the situation could get worse soon.  
Ennis was informed by letter and wrote back asking Jack to take care of his sister for him. Kenneth was leaving for the army soon and nobody else could be trusted with the task.  
Jack devoted every moment of his free time to the Miss of the house; he was often there to add wood to the fire, help the maids in changing the bed, disposing of corporal fluids and sleeping in an adjacent room during the night.   
When Lureen felt better she started giving Jack school lessons, trying to improve his education.  
Mr. Evans was pleased to see such devotion in a boy so young, it enforced the decision he made in May to transfer Jack from the gardens to the house; despite Jack’s efforts, the boy was never good with plants. He decided to teach Jack how to become a professional butler like himself. Lots of boys worked under him but few were suitable.


	3. Chapter 3

When Ennis was seventeen, Kenneth used to have some of his college friends at home during the summer season.  
That particular Sunday afternoon, the boys wanted to play rugby.   
Ennis, Kenneth, the Adams brothers and their cousin Nick, plus two other schoolmates of Kenneth, named Mark and Peter. They were dispar and Kenneth started complaining so Ennis offered to find the 8th player and went looking for Jack to be eight players.  
He found him with Mrs Morley in a guest room of the 2nd floor, moving a heavvy bed. Ennis helped JAck to get rid of his work faster, not listening to Mrs. Morley’s objections. In her mind a young noble shouldn’t move a small single object, nevertheless a piece of furniture.   
Ennis’ stubborness won and in the end the housekeeper resigned and allowed Jack to leave with the young master.  
They were descending the first stairs to reach the ground floor while Ennis explained briefly the situation. Jack found the idea quite strange and mostly unpraticable.  
“I’m a servant here. I cannot play rugby with your guests.“   
“Kenneth’s friends don’t know you work for us. I told them I’d look for the son of the veterinary.”   
“They saw me serving lunch before.”   
Ennis stopped for a moment and fixed a wall with a blank stare; he passed a hand on his forehead then took Jack’s arm to keep him there and explained his solution.   
“It’s simple, people never look at servants, my mother always said. They’re like porcelains, but if you’re dressed like us and don’t call Kenneth “sir” we should make it. “  
“I’ll try Ennis.”  
“More than simply try. You must do it. Now come here.”  
Ennis pushed Jack down the service stairs heading for the laundry, where he rummaged between the basket of his just washed clothes. He knew well how to find clean shirts since he was young, to avoid the risk to be seen by his father with a stain. Jack’s black trousers would easily be accepted, so he took a white shirt and observed while Jack weared it. Broad chest without hairs, strong muscles, arms of a boxer. Surely Jack was no more a boy; three long years have passed since their first meeting, both were taller and heavier.   
Ennis added a blue scarf and showed Jack how to make an ascot.  
“Now take a deep breath and come with me. Talk as little as possible.”  
Jack had great faith in Ennis and they both knew that, so he followed his young master around the house until they spotted the group of boys still lying over blankets on the ground. It was strange for Jack to wear somebody else’s clothes – not given for charity, like happened when Claire Twist received the annual church parcel from Reverend Walton. Sort of entering in a different skin.   
The shirt had traces of Ennis’ perfume, a mixture of spices and some exotic wood.  
Last year Ennis gave Jack his broached perfume bottle and Jack kept it as a treasure in his nightstand, refusing to use he little remaining essence; it was Ennis’ and only his.   
Kenneth hurried them up without commenting about Jack, he was happy to have the needed man and he didn’t care if he was a valet. Knowing Ennis, he already imagined from where the 8th player would come from.  
He was nervous and envious because the Adams’ house was smaller but more furnished than his, with more servants and with Mrs Adams organizing lots of summer entertainments for her sons. Kenneth wanted to make his own house appear the same and stresses both butler and housekeeper for days before his friends arrived. He wanted everything perfect. He simply forgot that Thomas Evans sr was the opposite of Charles Delmar, in every possible way. That’s man laugh could warm a cold room in winter.   
“Ennis come on, we want to play!”  
“I’ve found Jack in his father’s pratice, they were busy with a cat.”  
“Hope the cat do scratch you both, let’s start!”

Ennis and Jack weren’t in the same team, because Kenneth and Tom Adams made the choices and both obviously started with their respective brothers and continued with cousins and friends. Jack was the last one.  
Nick Adams was a loser, they all soon discovered, Peter put him down after five seconds. Mark lost the ball after crashing against Jack, who was new at playing rugby, apart the five seconds instructions Ennis gave him when they left the laundry.  
They tried the pack but the Delmar team was stronger. Ennis lined against Jack and when he pushed hard Jack lost his balance and fell on his back. Ennis offered a hand but Jack gingerly refused.  
“I’m fine.”  
“Sure?”  
“Sure!”  
Jack was hurt also five minutes later, when Tom Adams passed him the ball and all the other team moved against him, who was unsure how to proceed and instead of passing back the ball tried to score all by himself using his fast legs.  
The Adams resigned soon pretending Arthur’s nose was bleeding a lot and everybody returned to the table Mr. Evans dressed again with plenty of food and beverage. Jack was ready to return to work with an excuse when Ennis stopped him.  
“I want to show you something more about rugby.”  
“Ennis I’m in a hurry, I’m sure Mr. Evans wants me back immediately. And I must change myself.”  
“Tomorrow arrives the captain of Kenneth rugby team with other friends, if we need you again I want be sure you won’t hurt youself. I speak with Evans. Meet me in a quarter of an hour behind the old mill.”  
Jack left in the laundry Ennis’ shirt and returned to appear a full vallet. Luckily nobody called him, neither Mr Evans, who crossed his path in the kitchen but was busy with some papers and took refuge in his private parlour. Jack went out and followed the small stream that lead to the mill, a 10 minutes walk from the barn, an area that assured lots of privacy from the house and the gardens.   
Ennis arrived a moment later smoking, his features were more relaxed now, without people - and especially brothers - around his day was more free. He offered Jack a cigarette who refused.   
“Thanks but Mr Evans will notice the smell.”  
“He’s getting old and sturdy. Coward!” Ennsi teased him.   
“All right Ennis, I’m a coward but now show me more about rugby.”  
Ennis gave a short description of the main rules and made Jack repeat them.   
“When we are in the pack you have to use your legs and shoulders better, try to separate them. Come on, grab me!”  
Ennis bended at his waist and Jack clung to him.   
“Now, shoulders push forward and move your legs ....stronger!”  
“I’m trying but you’re heavier!”  
Jack pushed as much as he could; for a moment their combinate movements were of the same strength, then it was Ennis’ time to suddenly slip.  
Jack fell all over him and their heads crashed together; Jack’s nose got the worst and started bleeding over both shirt. Ennis lifted Jack’s chin, wiped away the blood with the sleeve of his shirt while their lenghts remained in full contact. Gazes locked for moments that lasted hours, not caring if blood was still wetting them. Then Ennis was sure there was something hard against his tigh and also something hard inside his own trousers.   
Later that evening, alone in his room, Ennis let his mind roam free. He know strange things sometimes happened between boys, he heard whispered words at school and once in a bathroom he catched the glimpse of two bodies – partially hidden, but not enough to cover their position.  
Ennis remembered the scene very well; front to back, one facing the wall, one moving his hips forward against the other’s back. Now, with those detailed recollections, Ennis felt a rush of blood on his face and felt his dick hardening.  
Jack moaned and seemed to sink an inch more his body into Ennis’. Seconds stretched and the world stopped around them. But when Jack regained his senses the sun was in the same position over the sky.   
Jack realised the compromising situation and with a quick twist was on his back looking above.   
Both got up avoiding each other’s face and tried again to play rugby, aware to remain more distant.   
In the end the team captain didn’t showed up the day after at the House and the rugby failure was forgotten by everybody, except Ennis, who instead forgot Jack had to deliver his blood stained shirt to the laundry maids. Jack kept the shirt as a tangible memory of the day, he couldn’t allow himself the privilege of thinking about his friend.  
Unless Ennis, whose sleep was haunted by strange visions and who for a few days woke up breathing hard in the middle of the night.  
He was scheduled to return school in two weeks and was glad to leave Jack for the first time in his life.  
Something unclear was happening between them and Ennis was strangely afraid to discover it.


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Bluebells and roses.

Chapter 4.

This is the next part of an AU/AU, a tribute to a great short story and a marvellous film. 

Timeline: before the introduction chapter, we’re swimming between end of 19th and beginning of 20th century. 

Thanks as usual to all of you who read and posted a comment. 

Disclaimer: intellectual property of Ms. Proulx, no commercial use, no copyright infringment.

Special thanks this time goes to my Beta Sam , her help is very precious and deeply treasured. 

 

Mr. Evans noticed the situation between Cassie and Jack during a weekly staff meeting because Cassie was the only servant who wasn’t focusing on his face. The object of her interest was Jack, so he called the valet into his parlour. Formal confrontations with the head butler were unusual for Jack, who was sweating long before opening the door.   
Mr. Evans didn’t waste time and went straight to the matter.  
Jack stood in front of his desk praying not to be dismissed.  
“Jack, do you have a problem with Cassie?”  
“No, Mr. Evans.” His first reaction was to deny it, but Mr. Evans was an experienced man.  
“Look at me, Jack, what’s happening?” Jack took a long breath, so his work quality wasn’t the problem. But what else then?  
“Don’t know, she keeps staring at me.”  
“She’s a woman, and quite pretty, I must say.”   
“Yes, Mr. Evans, but I’m confused. I don’t know what she wants.”  
“You’re 17, Jack, aren’t you? Eighteen in December. It’s quite time for you to have a woman for yourself. Boys your age will marry in a few years, you do understand, don’t you?”  
The conversation was making Jack more and more uncomfortable, but he refused to be seen as a boy by Mr. Evans. He had very little experience with girls. He had caught snatches of conversation between his roommates about their occasional girlfriends, and was sometimes torn between the desire to be like them, and his natural shyness and sense of decency toward girls.   
Only with Miss Lureen did he feel at ease.  
“Yes, sir. Someday I’ll marry a girl.”  
He repeated the concept without real conviction.  
Mr. Evans kept on without listening to him.   
“But it would be a pity if you feel this need of a woman so soon, because to become a butler a man must devote himself to his work for a long time. Only a few men reach the top of the profession. I thought you could be one of them, but maybe I’m wrong. I married Mrs. Evans when I was 33, long after becoming first underbutler.”  
“Mr. Evans, you know I want to be like you!”  
Evans was secretly pleased at Jack’s declaration – it reinforced his high opinion about the boy - but decided to keep it to himself.

Jack couldn’t understand why Mr. Evans was suddenly so stubborn, they had talked only two months ago about his possible future and Jack had assured the butler he wanted to remain with the Delmars for many years. He didn’t know that Mr. Evans’ words to him now were more or less the ritual speech he gave the young valets as soon as they became of legal age. In Jack’s case, the speech was only anticipated of a few weeks.   
Jack could bear the long routine of service. He had learned how to pretend to be busy when not strictly observed, and how to avoid difficult chores, but in the end he never abused his position and Mr. Evans’ power; service was a future that appealed him. The other possibility was the army, and a soldier was only cannon fodder. He respected the head butler and was aware that he was Mrs Evans’ favourite.

“However, a man cannot stay a monk until he marries. If he has the opportunity not to, I mean. Now if you want to go out with Cassie, be careful, a pregnant maid isn’t useful for my staff. and if she should run away her sister will follow her.. and we don’t want to lose the best kitchen maid I’ve seen in ten years. I cannot dismiss her now because Christmas is around the corner.”   
Jack’s cheeks were burning and he felt dizzy Mr. Evans was really talking about babies and sex with him?  
He was still too much naive in that department, the school lessons Miss Lureen gave him weren’t about biology…. of course he had seen animals mating at his father’s farm, but he’d never associated those acts with people.   
He lowered his head, too confused, hoping to be dismissed soon.

During the following days he tried to avoid the kitchen as much as possible – except during meals, of course - but fate was against him. Cassie’s looks continued. Jack thought about talking to Anne, but couldn’t find the right words to start the conversation. Jack missed Ennis, his young master surely would have listened to him.

 

The maze was made of high evergreens and assured lots of privacy , so Jack’s prayers to be freed by the arrival of somebody else were likely to be unheard, because Cassie was still moving towards him and now they were using only half of the bench.   
Jack tried to look at the sky, the trees, the ground to avoid Cassie’s face; the red lipstick she wore was making her look like a clown, he thought, or worse. Jack had never seen a woman before with that kind of make up, so different from those of the ladies, who always had skin like white porcelain.   
Cassie wasn’t saying a word, and that was far more difficult for Jack than a verbal approach would have been. Being good with words – especially with his colleagues - he could reply more easily to her advances. Now he felt like a deer in a trap. He had been so careful after his confrontation with the head butler, hiding in the barn with the horses during his free hours. He didn’t understand how all this had happened … Cassie had asked him to go for a walk with her, then headed for the maze, finally using the excuse of a problem with her ankle so they could sit down.  
Cassie put a hand on Jack’s arm, and her fingers felt like ice.   
That couldn’t be what Mr. Evans meant when he had talked about his own marriage. Jack remembered verses about love from the poets he read. Surely they hadn’t been referring to something like this! 

But the experience was so new and sudden, he felt frozen in place, not knowing how he was supposed to react.   
He had never been so close to a woman before, had never had those innocent touches at the summer fair, had never invited a girl to dance, choosing instead to remain home reading the books Miss Lureen gave him.   
His pulse accelerated, and Cassie was pleased, considering it a good sign; her hand moved higher, aiming for Jack’s elbow and the young man looked helplessly at the motion. 

 

Cassie was sure she was winning her battle, a few inches more and she was convinced Jack would hug and maybe also kiss her. When she had looked at her image in the mirror earlier, after having put on her best dress and applied her make-up, she was sure she would be irresistible.  
Although Anne kept on telling her to leave Jack alone, Cassie was addicted to him; he was a new castle to conquer, like other boys had been before him. The taste of victory for Cassie was sweet but that of freedom the sweetest of all. Once she had made her conquest, it was always the same; she would quickly become bored and lose interest, turning her mind to a new search. 

Jack caught a shadow at the nearest corner of the maze, then something white carressed the grass.   
He got up immediately, aware of the presence of somebody and extremely happy to escape Cassie, who tried to pull him down again with an arm, not understanding what was happening. When she caught a glimpse of Miss Lureen Newsome approaching slowly she got up, too, and ran away, hoping not to be noticed.  
“Miss Newsome.” Jack welcomed the young lady with a broad smile and offered her the bench. “Can I do you something for you?”  
“No, thank you, Jack, the weather is so lovely today I wanted to take a short walk.”  
Her dark hair floated freely over her shoulders and she wore a pink dress with a long scarf. Lureen loved red – her room was full of small red objects; pens, thimbles, cases, a collection started with gifts from her brothers – but she was so pale nowadays that red would be too strong a contrast with her skin. So she wore pink instead.  
“As you wish, Miss Lureen.”  
“Did I interrupt your conversation, Jack? I’m sure you weren’t here alone. This maze is good for privacy.”  
“I was chatting with Cassie, but nothing important.”   
“You’re sure? It’s your free hour, Jack, and Cassie is a pretty girl.”  
“I’m sure. She’s too stubborn sometimes.”  
“Women often tend to be so, Jack. You will get used to it, sooner or later.”  
“Only time will tell, Miss Lureen.”  
“Well Jack, thinking about your offer, a hot cocoa might be a good idea now. I haven’t had one for ages.”  
“Yes, Miss Lureen, but only half a cup, do you remember what Dr. Stoutamire said?”  
“Jack, you’re worse than my brothers! How could I manage without you?”  
“You’ll tell me when I’m back with your cocoa. Now if you’ll excuse me…”  
“Remember, a lot of sugar!” Lureen added while Jack was leaving.

He was back ten minutes later with a cup full of the brown nectar and hot water to keep it warm. His mood was better now. He was so happy to be with a real lady that he forgot his good manners and his position and sat on the bench. As soon as he realised the mistake he got up and started apologizing, but Lureen refused every “sorry” and insisted on keeping Jack near her.  
Jack complied, deeply embarrassed. How different it was to be with Miss Lureen, compared to his brief experience with Cassie.   
“I’ve something for you also. A letter from Ennis.”  
It was a real letter, not like the formal ones for Lord Charles. Lureen skipped over the formal start - Ennis always needed to write a few lines to feel at ease with his writing and she wanted to spare Jack the more elaborate part. During their lessons – more sporadic now, both because Jack was busier and because he had learned pretty much everything Lureen could teach him – she had noticed that while he had started reading a lot, he was not inclined toward improving his writing style. 

“My dear sister,

I hope you are fine and taking good care of yourself.   
The situation here is not as good as last year, but I’m managing.   
Mr. Aguirre is very formal, and when Father visited last week their attitude toward one another quickly became very friendly. Aguirre is very slippery with the parents and Father strangely succumbed to his charm. I’m afraid he’ll be invited to our house sooner than later, like it happened before with Mr. Brown, because Father wants the best school career for me, like he did for Kenneth.  
But Mr. Aguirre is ten times worse than Mr. Brown.  
I’ve had difficulty in maths during the last few weeks due to the new teacher, but I’ve asked Jimmy Richardson to help me and now we study together four hours a week. The test is scheduled for next week, so please cross your fingers for me.  
Sometimes I’m very tired but I try to be strong, counting on the calendar the days until I can return home.   
Please ask Jack to curry Signal often for me and to give him one carrot every other day.   
I miss all of you, I hope nothing bad happens to you and Jack.

With all my love. 

Ennis.”

“I hope he’ll be here soon, I want to see him, not just read his letters.”  
“Surely he’ll leave school as soon as he can.”  
“I’m so desperate Jack, you’re the only one remaining, my stepfather will make them leave.”   
Jack knew Lureen was at the mercy of a stepfather like Lord Delmar, a position too fragile for a Lady like her. Her best expectation was the possibility that she could live as a “special” guest in the house of one of her brothers as soon as they married. He tried to give her support, hoping that one of her future sisters-in-law would generously accept her presence.  
The idea of a married Ennis wasn’t so appealing to Jack, who was afraid to lose his friend.   
“But Ennis will stay here always, he loves this house so much ….”  
“Ennis will have a separate life from us soon, but I cannot lose you too, Jack.”  
“I cannot lose both of you either, Miss Lureen.”   
Something in his voice caught her attention.  
“If Ennis asked you to go with him…no, Jack, it will happen, sooner or later!” Lureen lifted a hand to stop Jack’s objection. “If he asked, what would be your choice?   
“I don’t know.”  
Lureen insisted; during the years she had learned how to make Jack face his inner fears. “If he asks you’ll follow him, won’t you?”   
“I think so, Miss Lureen, he’s my master.” Jack seemed more relaxed after having spoken the truth.  
“You’re also a friend to him in a new house, you see he always writes about you in his letters.”  
Jack was envious of Ennis’ passion for correspondence because he felt unable to write like the young Lord. A servant was not requested to be a writer, it was another brick in the wall society was building between them as they were growing up.   
Love for literature was something lady Delmar had instilled in all her children until it took deep roots.   
“You know, Jack, I’ve observed you and Ennis a lot during this year and there’s a deep bond between you.”

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

Title: Bluebells and roses.

Chapter 5

This is the next part of an AU/AU, a tribute to a great short story and a marvellous film. 

Timeline: before the introduction chapter, we’re swimming between end of 19th and beginning of 20th century. 

Disclaimer: intellectual property of Ms. Proulx, no commercial use, no copyright infringment.

 

That year Christmas was a moment of true happiness for everybody, especially since Lord Delmar left home on Boxing day and headed for the capital.

The Delmar brothers and Lureen enjoyed a whole week together. 

Ennis and Jack put two blankets over their horses’ backs and dared to face the cold and the winter fog for a long ride. 

Their friendship seemed stronger than ever and Ennis gave Jack a gold watch for his 18th birthday in December. The gift box was wrapped with a golden ribbon. Jack looked at it cautiously; he had never had in his hands a present that wasn’t either clothes or food. His reaction in at opening it was immediate.

“I don’t want it!” 

“It’s only a gift.” Ennis had imagined that Jack would had have a negative reaction, and was prepared. “Thanks, but it is too expensive.”

“I want you to have it, please, Jack.”

“But for yours I didn’t gave you a gift”.  
“It’s not necessary, I have everything and I don’t want anything.”

“It’s too much for a servant like me.”

“Jack, it’s my way of asking you to forgive all the times my father wasn’t good with to you. Accept it, please, keep it in a closet if you like. But don’t refuse my friendship.”

“I promise.”  
The only other person who saw the watch was Lureen, who offered to have the initials JS engraved on the watch-case.  
Ennis agreed immediately, ignoring Jack’s objections.

So the watch returned to Samson and Dole in Oxford. When it returned, the house was deserted again. Lureen and Jack were ready for another wait until late spring. They closed a lot of rooms, and along with them their hearts, one more time.


	6. Chapter 6

Title: Bluebells and roses.

Chapter 6.

This is the next part of an AU/AU, a tribute to a great short story and a marvellous film. 

Timeline: before the introduction chapter, we’re swimming between end of 19th and beginning of 20th century. 

Thanks as usual to all of you who read and posted a comment. 

Disclaimer: intellectual property of Ms. Proulx, no commercial use, no copyright infringment.

Special thanks this time goes to my Beta Sam, her help is very precious and deeply treasured.

It was late spring at the Delmar estate.   
Lord Delmar was entertaining a group of guests for two weeks; he planned go to the South of France with them for the incoming high society summer season.   
Lureen was visiting her great-aunt Margaret in her Oxford house; she was the only relative still in England from her late father’s side. The rest of the family had settled in the United States forty years ago.  
Kenneth and Ennis were at home, too, trying to avoid as much as possible their father and his acquaintances, a bunch of boring and arrogant people. During the previous five summers Kenneth and Ennis had gone to their godfather’s estate in Devon, but since early spring Lord Alcott had been suffering from a broken leg due to a fall from a horse and decided to remain in Glasgow.  
So Kenneth chose Ireland for his holiday because his new college roommate was from Belfast, while Ennis opted for a hunting trip in the Lake district with the oldest nephew of Lord Alcott. The families were related since Lord Alcott‘s sister had married a cousin of Lord Delmar. Lady Alcott had later become a great friend of Ennis’s mother.   
It would be Ennis’s first holiday without his family and he was happy to be on his own. But he had to have a servant with him and he and Evans both knew that Jack, being his personal servant, was the only choice. For a moment Ennis thought to cancel the trip but he couldn’t find a good excuse to do it.  
Their friendship was at a low point because Jack had seemed more elusive than ever since Ennis had returned from school in June. Ennis was both sad and confused about Jack’s behaviour.   
Jack was unaware of Ennis’ turmoil. He had decided to stay away from him long before his friend had returned. 

He had stored in his memory the time they had spent together at Christmas, believing it had been a turning point in their life. Now they were both 18 and living in two different worlds. Ennis was due to attend Oxford next fall and that meant a greater separation.  
He told himself that if he wanted to keep his job, to have his own house and family, he should avoid a friendship that was not meant for a valet like him. He remembered well the suggestions his mother had given him about his role in society and was very formal and polite with Ennis, even trying to escape from the welcoming hug of the young Lord as he walked across the threshold.   
But when Mr. Evans gave him the order to accompany Ennis on holiday, Jack felt a strange excitement in his heart that he refused to better acknowledge. He and Ennis together again, like they had been when they were younger, with all the freedom a holiday could give. Jack was secretly glad to be obliged to comply. He started packing Ennis’ rifles, hunting trousers and jackets with care and precision, ready to put the luggage on the carriage that in a few days would take them to the train station.  
He was greatly surprised the day after when Ennis showed up at breakfast time in the kitchen and told Mr. Evans he had decided to leave for Scotland 4 days later than planned, wanting to spend some time in the cabin of the Delmar estate.  
Jack remained silent – once again his quiet attitude a perfect example for the other servants – but he didn’t understand Ennis’ decision. He had seen the cabin only from the outside during their rides and his idea of the inside was based on Ennis’ descriptions. It could be a very spartan place, while in the Lake District a large cottage was waiting for them and all the other guests with its own staff.  
Jack quickly prepared a bag of clothes for Ennis and met him an hour later in the barn where two horses were already ready. 

They rode in silence, Ennis the leader and Jack trying to read his master’s thoughts. His horse was loaded with food only and he imagined he had to cook for the next few days. That could be a bad decision from his point of view, because his skills in the kitchen were limited to boiled potatoes and some roasted meat. He wondered if Mrs. Thomas’ choices while packing food would take that problem into account; he missed the former cook’s abilities a lot. 

Ennis’ last visit to the cottage had been more than a year ago; he had gone an unusually long time without visiting his secret refuge. He had told himself he was too busy with school, that his desire to hunt was less, but now he suddenly felt the need to see it again. Maybe it was because he was at home alone, without father and brother and could spend the days as he liked. He was free, a sensation forgotten a long time ago when his mother had been still alive. He was also trying to find a way to be as far away as possible from his father, although that implied to be away from other people of the house who were important for him.   
He was happy to have Jack so close again, he didn’t have a real friendship at school so returning home and finding his old friend made Ennis happy.   
He wanted to show Jack the cabin but he didn’t knew the reason why. 

Ennis’ mood was getting better the more they approached their destination; he reigned in Signal and waited for Jack to pull level with him, wanting to break the heavy silence lingering between them.   
“I’m going to try the rifle, do you want to come?” He asked.  
“I have to prepare the cabin,” Jack replied cautiously.  
“If you say so..” Ennis’ gaze was low, as if he feared to express his true desires; but Jack noticed his look of disappointment.   
“Later in the afternoon?” Jack proposed. Ennis accepted immediately, his face lighting up.  
“Later, I’ll try to bag something to take home with us.” 

Jack felt relieved when they reached the cabin and Ennis disappeared between the trees; sometimes it was hard to be so close to him, especially when duty bordered too closely on friendship. He remembered the previous New Years Eve, when during the party he and Ennis had ended up drunk after a series of toasts and spent the rest of the night together on a mattress in the laundry, too afraid to be seen by Mr. Evans. Hearing the footsteps of the maids, they had woken up early in the morning, wrapped in each other’s arms; their faces inches apart, Ennis lying across Jack’ s chest. Ennis had reacted suddenly, shaking his head like he was fighting dizziness; he stood up with trembling legs and shook Jack, who was moving more slowly, still half asleep.   
“Wake up, we have to go,” he prompted Jack.   
“What?” Jack grumbled.   
“Hurry up, they’re coming!”  
“Who … what are you…?”   
Ennis grasped Jack’s arm, who opened his eyes and tried to comprehend the situation. “The maids, do you want the whole house to see us?”  
“I’m not feeling good.” Jack touched his forehead, hot like he had fever.   
“There’s a sink in the corner if you have to throw up.”   
Ennis tried to lift Jack up off the ground but released him when he saw his face contort. The situation was getting worse.   
“I’m leaving. If you want to be laughed at until next Christmas, stay right here.”  
“OK OK, help me, please. Can’t stay up.”  
“Don’t shout, my head is exploding.”  
Ennis grasped Jack by the waist and hauled him up. He was heavy, his shirt was wet with sweat. Jack leaned on the wall after drinking a sip of water. His mouth tasted like rocks.  
Ennis was facing the opposite wall, tucking his shirt into his trousers, refusing to speak again. Jack felt rejected because his friend seemed angry with him, although he didn’t really understand why.  
This memory saddened again Jack, since it seemed to be typical of how he and Ennis were growing apart as they grew older.

In the afternoon, after Jack had prepared the cabin, he and Ennis went to the stream across the small field and caught two fish for the evening meal.   
Lunch went smoothly, Mrs. Thomas had packed some roasted beef quickly cooked that morning and it was delicious.  
Jack used the old campfire outside the cabin. He cleaned the fish like his father taught him - two sharp movements to cut heads and tails, two long incisions to make four filets, ready to put on a hot stone over the fire. He placed some potatoes under the ashes, with their skins still on.  
They ate under the orange light of the sunset, Ennis taking out a bottle of whisky, half full, and sharing it with his friend.

Summer was full of long days, and Ennis liked the moments suspended between the light and the night. Their conversation was casual, mainly details of school, of everyday life, some gossip from London reported by Kenneth. Ennis was the one talking, not Jack this time, because as he grew older, Jack was finding he had less and less to tell Ennis or to teach him. His life was always the same, he was stuck at the house and he could only hope for a career in service.   
The night seemed warm in the end – or it was the warm of the bottle – so Ennis decided to improve his open air abilities .   
”I’ll sleep outside tonight,” he suddenly announced.   
“It could be cold.”   
The cabin had a simple bedroom with two small beds, comfortable enough for a few nights.  
“I want to try.” Ennis stated in a tone still strong, despite the empty bottle. 

Jack wasn’t inclined to argue about it anymore, deciding to keep his thoughts to himself; he placed more logs near the fire before going inside. The light was dim and he used a lantern to find the left bed, kicking off his boots. He listened carefully for sounds coming from the outside but he heard nothing, so he lay down on the bed. 

He woke later, hearing a muffled curse and the sound of wood crashing together.   
“What happened? he asked, opening the front door.  
“The fire died and the ground is wet!” Ennis was kicking everything around him, including ashes from the fire, a small part of which was still burning in the dark of the night.  
“There’s a mattress inside if you want to stay out there.” Jack suggested.   
“No, if it gets dirty... I’ll come in. Have to piss first.”  
Ennis entered the cabin a few minutes later, trying to adjust his eyes to the inner darkness. He dodged to the left when his knee collided with a chair and set heavily on Jack’s bed.  
Jack woke up again as he heard the weight and the noise.   
“Ennis, what are you doing?”  
“Sorry Jack, I confused the beds, I always use the left one.”   
“Do you want it now?”  
“No, stay, I’ll take the other one. Goodnight.”  
After some more grunting and coughing, Ennis settled and soon started snoring.  
They woke up late in the morning to a cloudy sky; Ennis decided on a short walk before lunch, following traces of a deer, and by the time he returned for lunch the clouds had disappeared uncovering a pale sun.


	7. Chapter 7

Title: Bluebells and roses.

Chapter 7.

This is the next part of an AU/AU, a tribute to a great short story and a marvellous film. 

Timeline: before the introduction chapter, we’re swimming between end of 19th and beginning of 20th century. 

Thanks as usual to all of you who read and posted a comment. It is so important for me. 

Disclaimer: intellectual property of Ms. Proulx, no commercial use, no copyright infringment.

Special thanks as always time goes to my Beta Sam, her help is very precious and deeply treasured.

Due to a hard time at work and some family health problems, I hope to post soon another chapter, which is already drafted but needs more refining and the help of the beta. Thanks for your comprehension.

 

“I want to teach you to shoot,” Ennis said, after sipping a coffee so black it could have been coal. It was such poison that he refused to drink any more. He didn’t want to hurt Jack’s feelings, though, so he decided to take it outside and pour the remains on the ground while Jack wasn’t looking.  
“It’s not necessary.” Jack hated the idea of killing anything; at home he had never been awake on the night when his father and uncles killed the fatted pig before Christmas. He considered himself lucky because his father wasn’t a hunter.  
Ennis insisted while they were on the front porch.  
“I want you to try. It gives you power, a lot of power. I want to join in the army to leave this place. I’ll follow Kenneth when he becomes a soldier. So I want to learn to kill really well.”   
Jack was surprised by that declaration. The boy he had known for many years was different from this Ennis; now there was a vein of cold steel inside him.   
The war in Africa was still burning and Kenneth had to join the army soon.   
Jack had never imagined Ennis wanting to follow in his brother’s footsteps. He didn’t know Ennis wanted to find a way to escape from his school as soon as possible. 

The sensation of his finger on the trigger and his eyes focused on a deer made Jack’s stomach spasm, but he managed to resist and miss the shot, although the missing was not the most difficult part. The deer startled as soon as he heard the shot and bolted for the darkness of the wood.   
Ennis teased him for being unable to see straight but in the end left the animal alive, too. “Until next time,” he said, “because we cannot take it home now.”

They had followed the tracks of the deer for three miles, concentrating too hard to care about the distance or the cloudy sky, so when the rain started falling it was a surprise for both. They ran back as fast as possible, considering the state of the ground, while the rain soaked their heads and then their clothes. Jack slipped and fell on a bunch of dried leaves, getting his knees dirtier than the rest of his body. They finally reached the small field outside the cabin, but before going inside they had to prepare the horses for the night. 

Ennis sat on the porch and took off his boots, leaving them outside and placing his wet jacket on a rack. Jack entered the kitchen before him and started the fire, offering hot water for a bath.   
Ennis stripped naked and wrapped himself in an old quilt while the fire was warming the room.  
“Where is the water?” he asked Jack, who was madly pumping from the well under the back porch.  
“Coming!”  
“Still in the well?”  
“I need a decent fire to have it hot!”  
“At this rate you’ll have it hot tomorrow morning.”  
”I’m hurrying!”   
Jack finally appeared with a bucket full to the brim. Soon steam filled the room and Jack moved the large tub from the bathroom to the fire.   
“I suppose the bath here would be better, near the fire.”   
“It’s a good idea.” Ennis admitted, glad for Jack’s initiative.  
When the water was boiling, Jack poured it in the tub and added cold water following Ennis’ instructions...that boy always wanted very hot baths, so Jack placed more water on the fire.   
Steam was now covering the window now and the room was growing hotter.

Ennis let the quilt fall on the floor and entered the tub.  
His body was in full view and Jack found himself strangely attracted to the sight. He hadn’t seen his friend completely naked lately. He prepared the hot water and added wood to the fire of the bathroom but the young Lord preferred to be alone; Ennis used to read while soaking in the tub and he didn’t want to be disturbed. 

Ennis’ dick and balls at first had been suffering from the cold but now were starting to recover and grow; Jack told himself he shouldn’t look at Ennis’ erection, but he was fascinated by it and couldn’t help himself.  
Ennis suggested another way to reduce the cold.  
“Open my bag, there is another bottle.”   
The bottle passed back and forth between them and soon the burning taste made Ennis’ head dizzy.   
He seemed at ease, arms dangling from the edge of the tub, a cigarette in his mouth, head resting against the hot metal. He opened his eyes slowly and saw Jack still with his shirt and trousers on, only partially dried by the steam that was filling the room.  
He felt inconsiderate for being selfish; Jack was faithful as ever, more than a servant, less than a friend, their acquaintance was the longest Ennis had ever had, except for his relationships with his relatives.  
His friend, his only friend. It didn’t’ matter if Jack was a servant, he was the person who knew Ennis better than anybody else, including Lureen.   
So he decide to treat Jack like himself.   
“Come in with me,” he invited Jack.   
Jack at first didn’t trust his ears, but Ennis insisted. “Come on, it’s getting cold, if you wait for another bucket you’ll catch your death.”  
Jack froze where he stood. Never had the idea crossed his mind that he could be so close – really close – to Ennis. His heart missed a beat, his breath stopped for a minute, then he realised Ennis was looking at him with a gentle expression, like a child who was offering something for free. He didn’t find anything behind Ennis’ gaze, nothing dangerous or suspicious. They were just two men soaked after a violent rain and there was nothing better than to jump into a hot refuge. 

Jack added logs to the fire to keep it alive. Ennis moved his legs against his chest to leave space for Jack, then placed his head on his knees, pretending to rest. Jack felt relieved that he could disrobe without being observed. He kicked off his shoes and let trousers and shirt fall from his skin like leaves from a tree. 

Ennis was still, lost in a trance or in a light sleep, but when Jack placed a hand on the edge of the tub to steady himself and his right leg entered the water Ennis lifted his head and smiled. Their eyes locked and Jack felt his earlier embarrassment give way to a new sensation, something warm on his skin and in his heart.  
The space was small, Ennis’ body was bigger than his but they managed. “ With two it should last a little longer before you need to add water,” Ennis said, trying to move his legs to the side to give Jack more space. “Isn’t it good?”  
”Yes, thank you.” Jack answered closing his eyes and sinking more in the water. Warm baths were something still unusual for him; when he was a boy his mother had run a hot bath only for Christmas; for every other day they used a sink full of quite cold water. At the house Mr. Evans wanted the servants to have a hot bath once a month, or more often for particular meetings, while for daily needs they used hot water from the laundry.  
“I’m so tired after that run. I’m afraid to fall asleep.”  
“Don’t worry, I’ll wake you up as soon as it gets cold.” Ennis assured him, leaning his back against the tub. “Now let’s rest for a while.” 

The presence of two bodies kept the temperature hotter than Jack had imagined it could. Sleep easily conquered both of them and half an hour later Jack woke up suddenly, surrounded by colder water in the first dark of the evening. His hasty movements to get up and pour more hot water from the fire disturbed Ennis, who spoke before opening his eyes. “Go away!”  
He wasn’t completely awake, but Jack immediately reacted, throwing a leg over the edge.  
When Ennis heard the “I’m sorry” that Jack said in a deferential tone, he understood his mistake.   
“Oh, no, Jack...I was dreaming, it was.. Jack, please.”  
He grabbed Jack’s wrist and pulled; the combination went against Jack, who lost his balance and fell sideways, ending up sprawled half across Ennis and half over the edge of the tub. Water splashed everywhere, soaking the floor and Ennis’ hair, too.  
“Ouch!” Ennis lamented, Jack’s elbow digging into his stomach.  
“Cannot lift me up.” Jack was in an awkward position and didn’t have the strength to get out of it. His hand searched for the bottom of the tub for leverage but the hand encountered something else, something quite different from the metal.

Jack realised he was touching Ennis’ cock, that his palm was resting on a strong thigh and his fingers were spread all over the most private area of his master. Jack wanted to escape as fast as possible but his balance was even more precarious now, and he was afraid to move and injure something important.

Ennis had wanted to laugh about the whole incident, until he felt Jack’s hand on his body.  
Later, he wondered why his brain ordered his dick to harden and his hand to cover Jack’s. They were both afraid to move, to talk, to break the spell that surrounded them.  
Jack moved his hand a little, closing his fingers around Ennis’, who moaned and lifted his hips from the bottom of the tub. Ennis breath came faster then, Jack re-entered the tub fully and leaned on Ennis, who wrapped his arms around him and pressed their groins closer. 

Jack was feeling so good, he only wanted Ennis around him, so he accepted when Ennis prompted him to leave the tub. Ennis dragged him down onto the bare floor, only a rug under his knees, and embraced him from behind.

Something hard was pushing against Jack’s bottom cheeks and he pushed back, wanting more but not knowing exactly what. When Ennis probed his hole with a finger, Jack went crazy and wriggled his ass to accept the intrusion. Ennis worked a little, trying to open Jack up, using two fingers and soon with only the with only the help of spitting on his hand entered Jack, who cried out – half in surprise, half in pain. He was aware of everything, the cold floor under hands and knees, the rough thrusts inside him, the weight of Ennis on his back.   
Then he felt Ennis’ dick touch a special place inside him and he came fast. Moments later, Ennis exploded with a grunt of pleasure.   
They collapsed on the floor in a tangle of arms and legs, too spent to move a muscle, but the cold from the stones was too intense and Jack groaned, being the one underneath. He lifted his hips to dislodge Ennis, who at first passively grabbed his ass, before a small cry of pain from Jack induced Ennis to get up.  
They moved in the dimly light of the dying fire and reached the beds. Words were unnecessary. 

Jack woke up alone in the morning, the sun high in the sky and a small piece of paper on the kitchen table.  
“Gone east to hunt.”  
Jack knew this meant the hill where Ennis’ great uncle had collected pheasants, which found the place suitable and reproduced abundantly, for the pleasure and amusement of the hunters.  
Jack’s ass was sorer than he expected and at first the pain induced him to think he would avoid the same experience in the future, but despite the pain, the closeness he had felt with Ennis had been the deepest and most profound experience of his life.  
He wanted to follow Ennis and talk about it but was still too confused about what had happened to see the handsome face; afraid of rejection, afraid of denial.  
Ennis was back several hours later with three birds. He handed them to Jack and left the room keeping his gaze low. “I’m sorry,” he murmured, before reaching the bedroom.  
Jack followed him and knocked at the door. “Not now,” he heard from inside.  
“Please, Ennis.”  
“I hurted you.”  
“I’m fine...please open the door.”

Steps getting closer, then a hand on the knob. Ennis’ eyes were wet and his face a mask of guilt. Jack offered a hand and was glad to see it accepted; Ennis fingers were warm on his skin and conveyed an unspoken message, only for them.

But it was obvious that Ennis was even more confused than he was, so Jack decided there was no help for it but to speak first. “I’ve never felt so good before.”  
“The same for me. I’m sorry for hurting you down... there.” Although they had shared such an intimate moment the night before, it was still difficult to use certain words.  
“It’s getting better. It was so strange at first, but to feel you so deep...”   
“Jack this has to be a secret, nobody should know or we’re ruined...my father ...do you understand?” Ennis was so worried his brow was furrowed with deep lines.  
“Yes, I understand. We’ll never talk about it again.” Jack accepted his destiny with a low voice; he’d been a fool to believe last night had been something important, to Ennis as well as to himself. It could be only a memory to treasure.   
Then Ennis spoke again and hope returned. “No, no I want to talk about it. But only with you.”  
Ennis had spent his hunting time walking and thinking, forcing himself to stay away from Jack for a short time, when his whole body was screaming to return immediately to the cottage and repeat the performance of the previous night.  
“Do you mean you want to do it again?”  
“Of course, Jack, damn it was so good for me, too. The whispers at school about it were true.”  
“At school?” Jack’s expression was bewildered. Such things happened in the prestigious school Ennis attended?  
“Yes, I’ve heard about some tricks the old boys make to the first graders, sort of groping and touching, and then some boys start to like playing with the ass, but nobody tried anything with me. I was always alone.”  
“Did you ever have a girl?” Jack’s face was red but he had to know.  
“You first.”  
“ I asked.”  
“I never, and you?”  
“I think Cassie wanted to do something with me but I never went along with it.”  
“Our Cassie? Ann’s sister?”  
“Yes, is it so strange? I’m not so ugly.”  
“I never meant that, Jack, it’s only that you and a girl…”  
“I’m not like those boys at your school!”  
“Neither am I.”  
“Well, now that’s stated, what shall we do?”  
“First of all lunch, I’m starving!”

 

Bad memories, so bad he tried – in vain - to erase them, especially the cries of his mother and her tears.  
The child Ennis looked at the blood on his arm and didn’t react, his mind refused the pain until later, when his mother took biscuits, a slice of cake and a hot milk glass to cuddle him for the rest of the afternoon.   
The house was silent, nobody wanted to speak with a man who whipped his own son for no reason at all.  
Ennis had been playing with his puppy in the back garden and had answered immediately when his father called him. He didn’t see the whip hidden behind Lord Delmar’s arm, but instead approached his father and followed him in the library. There he saw Kenneth and a bible opened on a table.   
They were ordered to sit down and Lord Delmar started reading the part about Sodom and Gomorrah. Kenneth bowed his head, Ennis understood only the notion of hell and flames for a sin that was the worst sin of all.   
He let a tear fall from his eye, the lecture was long and he was tired and hungry. When Lord Charles saw Ennis wasn’t paying attention, he sent Kenneth away and let the whip fall over his son’s arm. Blood started flowing because the skin was tender and that increased Lord Delmar’s rage; he shouted against Ennis, saying that if he ever became a sinner like the bible described, he would kill him with his own hands. 

Ennis woke up from his afternoon rest and started pacing around the room, a tiger in a cage, his arms crossed to protect a treasure within. Jack saw the nervousness and did the first thing that came to his mind. He came closer, placed one hand on Ennis’ arm and the other on his right cheek.  
The effect was immediate, Ennis relaxed and leaned against the window. His eyes became more liquid but no tears travelled down his face.   
“It’s all right.” Jack said with all the tenderness of his heart. “It’s all right.”  
He repeated it like a lullaby to soothe a wounded boy. He saw in Ennis the child within, the one who had lost faith and innocence too young, thanks to Lord Delmar’s vision of the world.   
Ennis opened his mouth, trying to speak, but words were still too hard for him; it was too soon to rationalise the situation, although he had more ways to do it, compared to Jack.   
He wanted to believe everything would be all right in the future, wanted to spend the rest of his life in this cabin, alone with Jack.   
He let Jack take the lead and felt two arms around his body. Arms strong and gentle at the same time. Hands that ruffled his hair while soothing words were whispered into his ear.  
Jack was a miracle, a treasure and a holy thing.   
They went to bed together this time, lying on their sides, facing each other.  
Jack left two candles burning on the windowsill so he could see Ennis’ face. The night was silent, no sounds came from the surrounding woods. The forest slept with them. 

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

Title: Bluebells and roses.

Chapter 8.

This is the next part of an AU/AU, a tribute to a great short story and a marvellous film. 

Timeline: before the introduction chapter, we’re swimming between end of 19th and beginning of 20th century. 

Thanks as usual to all of you who read and posted a review. It is so important for me. 

Disclaimer: intellectual property of Ms. Proulx, no commercial use, no copyright infringment.

Special thanks as always time goes to my dear Beta Sam, her help is very precious and deeply treasured.

 

The days in the cabin ended too quickly. Ennis was obliged to reach the Lake District; he was Lord Alcott’s favourite godson and his mother had taught him to always respect the importance of such a position.  
The place was really beautiful, like a fairy tale, Ennis reported to Lureen. Lord Alcott greeted Ennis like a son and there were so many servants around that Jack could have a real holiday, too.  
Ennis and Jack spent very little time alone due to the presence of various friends, but in the heart of the night, when everybody else was sleeping, Ennis opened the communicating door between his large room and Jack’s small cubbyhole.   
The young men kissed and embraced with the force of desperation; Jack was the sweetest drug for Ennis, who in the space of a few days felt his world had turned upside down more than once. 

Far too soon it was time to return home, and Ennis and Jack once more found guests at the house; one of them Ennis’ school principal, Mr Aguirre.   
Although it was common for people of their social status to entertain various acquaintances throughout the year, Ennis always disagreed with his father’s choices. Ennis wasn’t at ease with Mr. Aguirre at school; the principal was a short and fat man with dark moustaches, born and raised in Malta. His features betrayed a not-so-English background but his oppressive discipline was surely pure British.   
When he had become principal ten months ago he had soon set new rules, fixing more chores for the younger boys and giving control to the boys of the last class. Ennis did his best at school to avoid him, but now it was worse, for they were under the same roof in his own house.   
It was hard to be at the same time so close and so far away from Jack during their holiday, and Aguirre’s presence would surely make things harder.

Lureen was passing in front of a window just outside the grocery room when she saw a carriage approaching with Ennis and Jack. She was carrying a basket of apples, which she put swiftly put on the floor. She took off the red apron she wore over a plain blue dress and went outside. 

Ennis was already walking toward the barn to see his horses, while Jack was in the middle of the back yard with two bags at his feet. He seemed tired – his shoulders heavy with an invisible weight – and unsure – he moved his head like a pendulum between the house and the barn.   
Lureen called his name, Jack turned and the woman saw his face.   
She couldn’t imagine what, but something surely had happened to Jack. He no longer was the young man of a month before, the last time she’d seen him.   
He was polite as usual and greeted her with a broad smile. They chatted a little of everyday things, but Lureen ended the conversation quickly because she wanted to go to Ennis. Jack understood he was dismissed, and entered the house with the bags.

Lureen approached the barn, the door was ajar and she saw Ennis, partly hidden behind the huge body of Signal.   
“Ennis!” she called.  
“Little sister!” he answered, moving toward her.   
Ennis lifted up Lureen in a strong embrace. “Ennis, stop,” she teased him.  
“I’m stronger than you.”  
“All right, you win, you win!”   
It had been their private joke since they were young, when they were playing chess or pretending to fight.   
Ennis was happy, Lureen had never seen her younger brother in such a joyous state. “How was your holiday?”  
“Very good, Lureen.”  
“A hunting paradise?”  
“Some pheasants and a deer, nothing else.”  
“Ennis, you’re surprising me, you are the best hunter in the village.”  
“I had other ways to pass my days. I discovered a small lake very good for fishing. Jack says now I could work on a fishing boat. We stayed at a camp on the shore of the lake and Jack and another valet cooked for everybody.”  
“Jack Twist a cook? I can’t believe that.”  
“I swear it’s true. Let’s find him, he’ll tell you the himself.”  
“He’ll be in the kitchen, I imagine.”  
“Let’s go! I’ve brought a gift for you from Glasgow.”   
Lureen lifted her hand to stop her brother. “First you must know Father is home, earlier than we expected.”   
The young woman explained briefly what had happened while they had been away. “He arrived three days ago and didn’t find you here. He was angry because he had forgotten to tell you that he’d invited guests, and your absence meant he had to take care of them all alone.”   
“It seems everything I do is always wrong for him. But this isn’t the first time we’ve had guests.”  
”Yes, Ennis, but one of them is your own principal.”

Ennis and Jack had hoped in vain to have peace at home; it wasn’t meant to be.  
A few days after their return they met near the service stairs on the first floor in the guest’s wing. Jack was carrying two chairs and Ennis was heading for his old study on the second floor. They were surrounded by empty rooms, lunch time was near and everybody else was downstairs.   
Ennis stopped to whisper a few words. 

“I’m sorry, Jack, but we must wait and be careful.”  
“I only want to talk.”  
“I know, it’s so hard…please!”  
“Sometimes I think you don’t want me any more, it’s crazy but…!”   
“No! I’m afraid to be caught.” 

Jack resigned himself, and bowed his head, then he checked again to see if there were somebody else around. He left the chairs under the window and dared to extend an arm, he wanted desperately to touch Ennis’ only for a moment. Both felt the heat of the contact and Ennis grabbed Jack’s hand by instinct.   
He retreated as he heard the sound of the lock of a double door - already partially ajar - touched to open it further.

Ennis looked around and asked, moving only his lips, “Which door?”  
“I’ll check,” Jack answered in the same way, before walking away swiftly to continue his duty.   
Ennis took refuge in a small parlour on the other side and tried to see if somebody was walking in the gallery, but it was too dark and the thick carpet was reducing the sound of footsteps.

Later he went looking for Jack and found him in the library, refilling a tray of bottles.  
“It was Aguirre’s,” Jack murmured.  
“Damn!” Ennis cursed in the lowest possible voice, “that man hates the whole of mankind, let alone two boys together.”  
“Maybe he didn’t see us.”  
“I’ll try to find out later, but I need to be careful.”

After dinner Ennis entered the drawing room. Mrs. Walton was playing Chopin on the piano for the guests, and Ennis chose to remain near the window leading to the garden, to have a way out.   
Aguirre approached him, he was surely ready to make a move because his eyes were shining like they did when he was going to administer punishments at school. His sweaty face glistened in the low light. He seemed fatter than before, the formal black evening jacket made him look like a penguin. 

Lureen noticed the motion, when the music ended she crossed the room to be nearer.   
“Ennis, your home is really magnificent.” Aguirre said during a pause.   
Around them Jack was busy refilling glasses and could only offer Ennis a gaze of encouragement.  
“Thank you, Mr. Aguirre.”  
They moved toward the terrace to smoke a cigar.   
“And your family, too. Your sister is such a sweet lady.”   
“She’s the portrait of our mother,” Ennis answered, trying to appear nonchalant.  
“What a pity she can’t marry, too fragile.” 

Ennis clenched his jaw; every hint about Lureen’s problems was still difficult for him to bear. He was sure his father had been the one who had informed Aguirre about Lureen’s health. “I hope her health will improve soon.”   
“And you, Ennis, maybe you can’t marry, either. Not enough heirs for this lovely estate?”  
“I must finish school before marrying in any case.”  
“Well, it won’t be so easy for you, if you have so many friends among the young servants….I wonder what Lord Charles thinks about that.”

The music stopped for Ennis, he felt his own sweat wetting his shirt. Aguirre’s words were like a sword in his flesh. So that hideous man really had seen something and was inclined to use his most precious secret against him.   
He had two immediate possibilities, deny everything, or admit it, and submit to whatever Aguirre wanted from him.  
He had a sudden flashback, remembering the way one of his classmates – a very polite boy, often ready to help the newcomers - changed his attitude after being called to the principal’s office to discuss a strange exam failure. The boy had quickly become shyer, isolating himself more and more from the others and refusing to talk about his now frequent meetings with the principal. He started having exam failures but strangely his grades remained very good.

Ennis felt a bucket of ice run down his spine…. Maybe Aguirre was one of those men who used their power to control people, or worse, one of those who were interested in young boys, whether or not they were interested in him.   
Lureen, partially hidden by a velvet curtain, couldn’t know her brother’s fears but heard the exchange very well, because Aguirre didn’t care if his voice was too high.   
Aguirre was now closely observing Ennis, whose only desire was to be anywhere else. Ennis swallowed twice and decided to pretend Aguirre’s idea was only a fantasy. “My father is very busy and often away from here.”   
“Good answer, Delmar, but there are letters and conversations and other ways to explain to Lord Charles what happens in his house. Do you think he will be happy to hear such a news?”  
Ennis thought that “happy” would be the mood of Charles Delmar after having beaten his own son hard enough to draw blood. Happy to give his boy a good lesson about life!

A female voice interrupted the discussion.  
“Ennis, dear, would you like to escort Mrs. Walton to the new fountain? She wanted to see it in the evening light.”  
“My pleasure, Lureen. Excuse me, Mr Aguirre.” Ennis walked away quickly, feeling relieved and grateful to his sister.  
Aguirre appeared furious about the interruption, but after a moment he smiled back to Lureen who took his arm and lead him to the balcony overlooking the garden.   
“I’m very happy to hear that Ennis is good at school.”  
“One of the best.”  
“Good. Lord Charles wants only the best for my brothers, although he’s very exigent with them. He will surely assure them a solid social position and a wealthy marriage. It seemed to me you were talking about that with Ennis.”  
“Well, after a fashion, Miss Newsome.” 

Aguirre’s arrogance was fading away quickly with Lureen so close. His education still obliged him to respect ladies and to have a proper attitude with them.   
“I’m quite sure there is already a young lady reserved for my Ennis. I hope he’ll love her with all his heart. But nothing will destroy his happiness while I’m alive. Do you know my late mother’s best friend, Lady Alcott?”  
“I haven’t had the pleasure to meet her in person, although her high reputation is well known.”  
“She loves Ennis deeply and she wants to see him happy, just like I do. She’s well known in London and she often complains that her two sons didn’t receive a perfect education at St. Jerome.”  
“There have been rumours about St. Jerome for three years.”  
“Yes, and I’m sure Lady Alcott, knowing how Ennis is treated at his school, could induce many families to send their boys to an institute as prestigious as yours. I could write her about you.”  
She would add other important but not so favourable information about Mr. Aguirre in her soon to be written letter, but he had to remain unaware of it.  
“That would be a pleasure, Mrs. Newsome.”  
“I would do anything for my Ennis, and I’m sure you’ll receive a high consideration from Lady Alcott.”  
Aguirre recognized defeat. He left Lureen with a soft kiss on her hand and a perfect bow.

TBC   
Please review.


	9. Chapter 9

Title: Bluebells and roses.

Chapter 9.

This is the next part of an AU/AU, a tribute to a great short story and a marvellous film. 

Timeline: before the introduction chapter, we’re swimming between end of 19th and beginning of 20th century. 

Thanks as usual to all of you who read and posted a review. It is so important for me. 

Disclaimer: intellectual property of Ms. Proulx, no commercial use, no copyright infringment.

Special thanks as always time goes to my dear Beta Sam, her help is very precious and deeply treasured.

 

The war was a real nightmare, Kenneth wrote to Ennis after his first month in Southern Africa. He asked himself every night why they should fight, kill and die for a piece of land so far away from home. But he was a soldier, now, and his duty was to fight an unwanted war.   
Ennis and Kenneth had hugged for a long time when Kenneth had to leave for Africa, and they exchanged two gold medallions with their respective miniature portraits.   
The words in Kenneth’s letter were kept hidden from Lord Delmar, who had done his duty as a soldier years ago and was not inclined to have a coward for a son. Ennis believed a lot in his older brother and prayed for a fast ending to the war; the idea of being the second Delmar in the same generation to become a soldier wasn’t so appealing. His father took pride in the other letters, the ones Kenneth sent that glorified the British army. 

The letters usually arrived every two weeks. Ennis wondered how it was possibile to cross the whole distance of Africa in such a short time; it was proof of the power of the Empire, that was for sure.  
When a single letter arrived for Lord Delmar one day, written in elaborate calligraphy, the butler placed it on a silver tray then handed it to Jack, who knew without further instructions that he was to deliver it to his lordship. Jack found his master in the library, sipping a glass of sherry with a London newspaper in his lap.   
“Put it here and refill,” he was ordered.   
“Sir, I’ll bring another bottle,” he said, looking at the low level of liquor in the decanter.  
He left the room, closing the doors behind him. Lord Delmar was still reading his newspaper and paid any attention to the letter yet. 

Jack returned five minutes later with a bottle Mr. Evans gave him from the small shelf in the store room.   
He knocked once with no answer, then twice, turning his head to hear better. Then a sudden strong cry from the inside made him open the door without further hesitation.   
Lord Delmar was bent over a carved table near his favourite chair, frantically clutching a piece of paper, his sherry glass broken in small pieces at his feet.   
Shocked, Jack remained immobile for a second, then entered the room with the idea of helping his lordship back into his chair. Surely he was not feeling well. On his way past, Jack reached for the bell on the wall to call Mr. Evans.  
Lord Delmar heard footsteps and turned; his face like a ghost, pale and drained of every drop of blood. But his demeanour changed very quickly.

He charged like a lion chasing a gazelle, using all his strength to grab Jack by the neck and throw him to the ground. Lord Delmar started babbling unintelligible words, the volume of his voice rising higher and higher until he was screaming. He grabbed his whip from his boots and used it on Jack’s defenseless body – for how could a servant escape the fury of his master, let alone fight against him? 

All Jack could do was cover his face with both hands while Lord Delmar whipped and kicked him with the force of two men. Jack felt the pain of skin being torn and small bones breaking, and his vision went red when blood started seeping through the fingers that were protecting his face. He felt the pain of a strong boot in his right side, then another and another. Jack curled up like a ball, trying to avoid being further injured. He didn’t hear footsteps coming from the great hall, didn’t see Mr. Evans blocking his master’s arm and taking away the whip, throwing its bloodied leather on the floor.

He felt somebody help him to stand up, but he refused to move his hands away from his face, just stood there, terrified and trembling. Never in his life had he received an attack like this.   
Mr. Evans was talking with Lord Delmar while Louis, the first underbutler, led Jack out of the library.  
They reached the servants’ quarters and Louis opened the door of the butler’s parlour, taking a chair from the table and telling Jack to sit down in front of the fireplace. He grabbed Jack’s hand, but the boy refused to follow his lead. Mrs. Evans was called and arrived quickly, using her soothing voice to calm the still shaking Jack.   
“Poor boy, poor Jack,” she repeated, hugging the boy’s trembling frame.

Mrs. Evans was a woman and a skilled mother, and Jack relaxed a bit because she smelled of soap and lavender, like his own mother.  
“Let me see your face.” Mrs. Evans asked, touching Jack’s hands. He slowly removed them, revealing his face. “There aren’t scars, don’t be afraid, you won’t have a mark.”  
The touch on his injured hands was like fire and Jack cursed under his breath; the woman released him and took her medical box, cleaning Jack’s scars with something that burned.  
Mr. Evans arrived shortly after, and his expression, usually unreadable – the mask of the professional butler – was very troubled.  
His wife asked immediately for an explanation. He waved a hand. “Terrible news,” he said in a whisper, “a tragedy for the house.”   
Mr. Evans looked at Jack like he wanted to inspect him. “Do you think anything is broken?”   
“No, sir, I don’t think so.”  
“Dr. Stoutamire will be here for his lordship, after that he’ll see you too. Louis.”  
He called the first underbutler, who was still standing in the corridor.)  
“Yes, Mr Evans.”  
“Help Jack to his room, then meet me in the kitchen in five minutes with all the others. Jack, now rest, I’ll see you later.”

Jack lay in his bed, following Mr. Evans’ instructions, but he couldn’t sleep because his mind was playing over and over the violent assault he had received at the hands of his own master. He well knew Lord Delmar’s strange attitude and that his behaviour was ruled by pride and – sometimes – cruelty, but no servant was ever treated that way.  
Jack tried to think about something else, focusing on the silver cutlery in the large closet, counting the pieces, recalling their exact disposition, the way Mr Evans had taught him to do with the purpose of remembering every detail when he had to set the dinner table.  
He was concentrating so hard that he didn’t hear Mr. Evans’ soft knocks at the door.  
“Jack?” he called from the outside.  
“Come in, Mr Evans.” Jack quickly answered.  
“How are you feeling?” The butler asked, letting Dr. Stoutamire in.  
“Better now, thanks.”

The doctor voiced his appreciation of Mrs Evans’ first aid skills when she cleaned the wounds and applied an oily cream before putting on bandages.   
The butler remained silent until the doctor finished; when he and Jack remained alone he finally spoke.   
“I’m afraid there is tragic news. Mister Kenneth’s regiment was in a bloody battle. He’s been reported missing, probably dead. His Lordship was reading the letter when you came back into the library. He was in shock.....That’s why he...treated you that way.”

Jack was speechless. It was one of the worst possible things that could have happened to the whole house. Jack wanted to be near Ennis to so he could comfort him, wanted to hug Ennis and erase his pain, but he wasn’t even allowed to tell him the news himself. His pain seemed to disappear   
compared to Ennis’.  
\--------  
Jack still had the scars, at least the remaining traces of the deeper ones, shortly before Christmas. Ennis had to mourn Kenneth alone, in the absence of the body his father forgave him to come home sooner than expected and refused a funeral to be held. He still believed his son was alive.

But only Kenneth’s medallion returned to England. It was the only thing that had been recovered of him from the battlefield, leading him to be declared missing and presumed dead. At first, Ennis wanted to bury his matching medallion in an empty grave, somewhere in their estate, but then decided to keep it as a memory of his brother. 

Jack used a special cream from Mrs Evans to help his skin heal as fast as possible.   
He knew what the sight of whipping meant for Ennis so he never wrote about it in his infrequent letters. He busied himself with various tasks in the guests’ wing the day Ennis returned, hoping to see him only in the evening, with the soft light of candles around them.

He was sure Lord Delmar would surely talk with his remaining son for the whole afternoon, pretending that he wanted a detailed report of the school results.  
Jack was sorry for his lover, but nobody would dare to contradict the master of the house.  
Jack was also lucky at the evening meal, thanks to the white gloves he wore that worked to lengthen the sleeves of his jacket.   
Ennis’ face was sad, but when he saw Jack for the first time after four months a sparkle brightened his eyes.

Dinner was faster than usual - less people at the master table, since Lureen remained in her room as she often had that winter - and Ennis was allowed to retire early. Jack waited to be dismissed and spent another hour lying dressed on top of the covers of his bed before knocking at Ennis’ door.  
It opened quickly, and Ennis dragged him in, closing the door immediately after him. They embraced and kissed with the desperate fury of a love denied.

Ennis tugged at Jack’s shirt and started freeing the buttons.  
“Please don’t ruin the shirt.”   
“I’ll buy you a new one.”  
“Please Ennis, I cannot leave your room with a hole in my shirt.”  
“I know, I know. I’ll give you one of mine, it won’t be the first time.” Ennis was using his tongue all over Jack’s chest, elicing a soft moan from the boy. He pushed the shirt over shoulders and arms and took Jack’s hands to kiss them. Then he saw.

Traces of red on a skin so white.

He lifted his gaze and Jack closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them Ennis’ face was like stone, shocked and drained of all emotion.  
Jack freed one hand and touched his lover’s cheek, trying to give warmth. “Ennis, look at me,” he asked.  
Ennis from his trance and felt his legs tremble a little. Jack took hold of his biceps and without questioning led him towards the bed. When Ennis was settled on the edge, Jack tried again.  
“Ennis talk to me.”  
“He did...he did it to you!”  
“It doesn’t matter any more.”  
“But when did it happen?”  
“Some days ago.” Jack knew it was too soon for such wounds to heal.  
“When, Jack? I need to know.”  
Jack inhaled deeply. He thought of telling a pitiful lie, but knew that Ennis could easily discover the truth from other people.  
“The day of the letter, when he read about your brother. It wasn’t his fault, he was in shock and went mad for a few minutes. I was the only one around him at the time, unfortunately.  
“I hate him!”

 

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long delay, I'm quite busy in writing my other works that i lost traces of time.

Ennis and Lord Delmar stayed a whole week in London before leaving for India.

It was the first time Ennis had spent so much time in the most powerful city of the empire and he enjoyed its variety and its many treasures. He also wanted to avoid his father as much as possible, like he had since he had found Jack’s scars the preceding Christmas.

He visited the British Museum, the National Gallery, walked along the river Thames and sometimes entered one of those shops for gentlemen only, full of tweeds, hats and formal suits, but he didn’t buy anything. Mr. Evans had packed in advance everything that was needed for India.

They stayed at Lord Charles’ Club, full of other country estate owners. The last day of his stay Ennis was given a message card from a valet. It was from Robert Miller, the younger brother of his late mother, whom Ennis had met only three times in his whole life, always at the Delmar’s house while Robert was in England for business reasons. 

“My dear Ennis, 

I’ve heard the news about Kenneth from London acquaintances of mine who knew my sister, your late mother. Then a few days ago I met Lady Alcott, who gave me your club reference. I’ve written to you and Lureen three times during the last months but since you have not replied, I fear that you did not receive my letters.” Thankfully Lady Alcott assured me you are fine. But you and Lureen are my sister’s children and I’d be pleased to hear from you more often.

I’m in London until next Friday, ten days from now. If you would like to contact me, leave a message at the Claridge hotel, Room 275.  
My American address is on the small sheet enclosed.

……. Your Uncle, Robert Miller.”

 

Ennis wanted to go immediately to the Claridge and called a carriage, but Mr. Miller wasn’t in his room nor in the restaurant, they told him, so he left a brief message, saying that he was pleased to hear from his uncle and would try again to meet him at the same place later in the evening, if permitted by his immediate departure for India.

Unfortunately, the same evening Ennis discovered he was expected to have attend a concert with his father and his return trip to the Claridge couldn’t take place. 

\----------   
For Ennis, the travel by ship seemed to last forever. He busied himself at first with the books he took with him, then read all the ones on the shelves of the sitting room. His father made acquaintances with the other passengers but Ennis wasn’t inclined to share his life with strangers. 

He hated the way his father always become became the centre of every conversation. Surely nobody else on the ship had a social status comparable to Lord Delmar’s and Ennis thought his father purposely choose a smaller and cheaper vessel to have more attention, though keeping their voyage less known by the aristocracy. . 

Ennis imagined being a lord was a winning point but Charles Delmar had also had a physical appearance that was like a magnet for people. They were attracted like a moth to a flame, before dying by from the intense heat. 

Ennis had the same figure but without the desire to be noticed, appreciated and respected: most of times he hoped to become a ghost and disappear. When he was a child he had refused to speak with strangers, and even now he was still was unease ill at ease when meeting new people. 

Once in India, Lord Charles and Ennis travelled by train and by carriage a lot, from Bombay to Delhi following the winter route of the anglo-indian high society, attending its meetings and its parties. Mr. Evans was the shadow of Lord Delmar and Ennis was happy to be left alone most of the time.

Ennis hated the social gatherings but was fascinated by the savage nature of India.  
He saw his first elephant the second day, near a small train station. The animal was ready to carry around a bunch of people, considering the special seat on its back. The train stopped for half an hour and Ennis went down to see the elephant better. The owner was surprised to see a white man approaching and his curiosity increased when Ennis extended a hand to touch the animal.   
The man bowed in the traditional deferent way and Ennis stopped, now unsure and avoiding to prevaricate. Mr Evans had told him about the local social system customs and during their stay Ennis wanted to behave properly during their stay.

With a gesture of an arm the owner invited Ennis to move closer. “She’s quiet, sahib, come on.”   
“It’s a female?” Ennis didn’t imagine such a big animal could be a “she.”  
“She’s Ansur, a fat lady,” the man added; he lifted his stick, added some unintelligible words and Ansur started moving her front legs, slowly kneeling in two steps in front of Ennis.   
She was really big but delicate at the same time. Ansur moved her proboscis trunk and her owner took an apple from a pocket; the elephant ate, looking at Ennis, who smelt the mud on her skin.  
“Can I touch her?” he asked.  
“Of course, sahib. On the trunk, please.”  
The skin had more deep or wrinkles than Ennis expected. Maybe it depended on the age of the animal, he thought.  
He gave the man some coins and returned quickly on to the train that was due to leave soon.

The moments with the animals - including one later when he met a domesticated tiger in the British Embassy - remained the best of the travel and he was full of details in describing them in his letters home.

The food was too spicy for his taste, but he managed to eat as much rice as possible. In the end, however, Ennis become addicted to curry and bought some of the powder to take home, with other small gifts for his sister and some servants.  
Boredom was his faithful companion for the most part of the day; after two weeks all the places, the faces, the hotel rooms became a big blur and nothing more.   
He wrote a letter to Jack and one to Lureen every other day, but needed to be careful to reach the post offices without his father noticing. Sometimes he thought to leave the letters at the reception of the hotel, but he was afraid Mr. Evans could be instructed by his father to control his correspondence. He suffered a lot from the absence of news from home. 

One evening, after another long and strenuous dinner in the company of too many drunken officers – two of which had served in the same regiment of his father - Lord Delmar called Ennis, who became anxious at the summons. He was tired and with the beginning of a headache and considering the way Lord Delmar had crossed the hall of the hotel, the father should be in a worse condition than the son.

Mr Evans soon retired for the night, leaving his masters alone with another bottle full of an amber liquid. Ennis swore to remain away from the temptation.  
Lord Delmar reclined on a couch, legs propped up, wearing a velvet night jacket, a glass in his hand. He started looking at something outside the window, avoiding Ennis’s face.

“Your mother was a beautiful woman, Ennis, and our marriage went very well. She gave me what I wanted, two boys. A loyal wife. Now you’re the only Delmar left, and I must consider the future of our family. Do you understand me?”  
“Yes, father.”  
“I’ve planned this trip to India to meet some old friends and various English families who live here, hoping to find a wife for you, Ennis. It’s time for you to marry, and better to choose a girl who knows nothing about you. The London society knows you were never interested in women at home. Too many whispers around our name. Now it’s time to stop them for good.”

“Father, I told you, too many things happened in our family. I didn’t have time to think about girls.” He started feeling a little nervous.

“Yes yes, your mother, your brother...in any case I think I’ve found you a suitable wife. She was born here, her father was a soldier years ago and her mother was a French woman, a little strange, they say, but it doesn’t matter, since she died years ago. Now her step mother was a distant relative of Lady Alcott. The girl is named Alma, she is 19 and you‘ll marry her in two months, when her family arrives at our estate.”   
“Father, you can’t mean this!”   
“What? You‘ll marry her because I‘ve decided you will. It will be arranged, you’ll meet her tomorrow evening. And I expect a grandson next year.”  
“I don’t want to do it!”  
“You’ll do it or I’ll erase you name from the family bible, while your so called “friends” at school or at home will see the inside of the darkest dungeon I can find.”

Ennis was so shocked at hearing these words that he couldn’t immediately find a proper reply. All he could think about was Jack, discovered by Lord Delmar, ignominiously sent away from the house and from him.

“So it’s true,” his father was saying, hearing no reply from Ennis. “I don’t know where he is but I was sure there was somebody of that degenerate kind. I’ve always hated them since I was young. He’s at school, isn’t he? One of the boys you played rugby with? Oh, keep your mouth closed if you want, but I’ll discover his name, sooner or later. And now go away, I want to rest.”   
Ennis didn’t move, unsure of what to do or what to say. He had never gone against his father before, and Lord Charles knew it well.   
“I told you to leave this room, or do you want to be whipped like that Jack?” Lord Charles took his whip from a table. “I could have whipped that servant much more! Like I did with Evans’ nephew some years ago, or before that, when I was young…at school we found one of the servants had stolen some food; he was the lover of another boy, Irish, and we spent the whole evening teaching him a lesson. His back still has the scars, I swear, and his lover couldn’t do anything to help him because we tied him to a chair. Now go away!” 

This time Ennis followed the order, shocked by his father’s words. Only later, going over what his father had said, did he realize that his affair with Jack was still secret. 

Ennis didn’t sleep that night. At first he thought that if he stayed awake he would appear at his worst for the evening meeting, but around dawn he felt so desperate that he tried to get drunker using his father’s remaining whisky. He slept from 6am to 9am and woke up with the worst headache of his life.

Mr. Evans’ breakfast tray went untouched. Ennis’ eyes were surrounded by dark circles; the butler prepared a bath and Ennis soaked in the tub until noon.

The party at Nathaniel Beers’ estate started at 6 pm and the Delmars arrived one hour later. Mr. Beers was pacing the hall like a lion, he was afraid Delmar might renege on their agreement. He needed the prestige of a title and wanted to get rid of his oldest child. She was a mistake, the reason he had to marry her mother. They had later produced two other offspring; two sons to carry on the family name, while with his second wife he had another girl, Catherine, the youngest, who was her father’s joy.   
He knew well that for Catherine he would accept only the best husband, one that she loved deeply, but Alma was something different. 

She was a teaser for boys, often dressed in ways that were not so proper for a real lady; he was afraid she might run away with some young gambler and stain their reputation. 

When he saw the Delmars approaching he greeted them immediately. “Charles, we were worried about you.”  
“We had a carriage problem, it was very annoying. The hotel forgot our order.” Lord Delmar laughed. “You were afraid I changed my mind? Here is my son Ennis.”

Ennis played his part of the perfect guest well and was swiftly introduced to Mrs Beers and her sons. The woman was beautiful, there was no doubt, and Ennis sadly remembered she wasn’t the real mother of Alma. Because a pretty girl would have lot of suitors, not an arranged marriage, so his hopes lasted for a minute only.  
Mrs Beers took his arm and lead him in the drawing room, where a girl was playing a piano; Ennis tensed but she was visibly too young.  
“She is Catherine,” Mrs Beers murmured with pride in her voice, “she has studied piano since she was five.”

“She’s very good.” Ennis admitted. The small hands of the pianist ran quickly over the keys and Mozart’s music captured the guests seated around the instrument. He was for a moment disappointed that Catherine couldn’t take Alma’s place, he was already fascinated by her music. 

Mrs. Beers introduced him to a lot of relatives and Ennis tried to be polite, continuing his search for the mysterious fiancée. When they reached the terrace overlooking the garden with a small lake, Mrs. Beers pointed to a group of five young women sitting around a circle of roses. “Alma is the one in the yellow dress, she’s with her cousins and friends.”  
“Would you accompany me ?”  
Mrs. Beers squirmed a little. She looked at Ennis with a deep sympathy in her hazel eyes and her voice trembled a little. “My presence could help you a little, but everything has been fixed and we cannot change anything.” 

\-------------------

Ennis slept and cried in Jack’s arms for hours the night he returned from India. They retired to his apartment as soon as Lord Charles dismissed the servants for the evening and wasted no time tearing away each other’s clothes, hungry, excited, as if every wasted second without touching bare skin was like a year. Ennis went down on Jack and put him in his mouth like a starved man, wanting to taste his man after so many nights alone, touching himself and dreaming of blue pearls.

Jack felt his desperation. “Ennis please, we all know it would have happened, in any case. You will be Earl, it’s your duty.”   
“You’re not helping me...”  
“What do you want me to do? Ask you to run away with me? Where could we go, without money at all.. and should we leave Lureen behind? Your father will kill her, you know it.”  
“But to have a wife! I cannot bear to be without you.”

They embraced fiercely and Ennis laid his head over Jack’s chest.  
“Ennis.... do you really believe I’ll let a woman take you away from me? Look at me! I swear, Ennis Delmar, that I’ll stay with you forever.”  
“It’s so embarrassing, Jack, I’ve never been with a woman.”  
“I know, Ennis, we were the first for each other, but a woman should be easier.”   
“How do you know?” Ennis said raising his head. “There is something you’re trying to tell me?”  
Jack looked at him and saw his uneasiness.   
“I’m sorry, Ennis, I’m only reporting what boys say in the kitchen ….do you trust me?”  
Ennis nodded, a little ashamed for his lapse of faith.   
and she’ll be a virgin, so she can never compare you with others. And once you have a kid or two, you can leave her bed and sleep alone. Like Lord Stonegrove did with the countess.”  
“How do you know?”  
“In the servant’s wing there are lots of spicy secrets!”  
“Is there anything else useful I should know?”  
Jack paused before speaking again.   
“Well.. you can avoid disrobing yourself in front of your wife... never let her see your body. There are special clothes with holes in them to put on for the wedding night.”

“My body is for you only,” Ennis said with a dangerous smile on his lips.

TBC  
Please add your opinion.


	11. Chapter 11

Ennis realised that Jack reacted much quieter than Ennis imagined at the news of the wedding.  
But Lureen was a different matter, Ennis thought. His sister’s moments of rage and fury, when she was feeling good, were infrequent but famous in the house. He still remembered his mother telling him that he should behave better with his big sister, the day Lureen took a pair of scissor to break Ennis’ toys after he stole her favourite drawing book.   
So he tried to avoid the question for a little while, but he was aware he wouldn’t have much of a chance of doing it.

In the end he didn’t have to talk with Lureen, because one afternoon she entered the supposedly deserted library, closing the door behind her back and looking for a new book. Unfortunately, inside Ennis was chasing Jack around two armchairs, and when he got his prize he hugged Jack in a strong embrace.  
“Oh.. my God!” was the only word Lureen could speak for the moment. She was visibly surprised but nobody else was around and her words died in the room.

The boys separated and stood in front of Lureen. 

Jack was terribly ashamed, he knew Lureen had a special feeling towards him and he didn’t want to destroy their close friendship. Ennis was less worried, his sister was the only person he trusted and he was immediately happy to be able to share his secret with somebody special. So he moved toward Lureen and offered his hands. “Come here, there’s something I want to explain.”

Lureen took the proffered hand and sat in the nearest chair.   
Jack remained on his spot and refused to come nearer when Ennis prompted him. Ennis looked back and forth from his sister to his lover; he wanted to find the right words but it was harder than he had imagined. He cursed himself for being so naïve, he should have prepared something to say for an occasion like this.  
“You see, Jack and I…. are very …very friends, we…like...”  
“I see well Ennis, now I understand.” The puzzle in Lureen’s mind was now complete; the real reason Aguirre was menacing Ennis, the way Ennis and Jack returned from the Scottish trip…there was surely a deep bond between those boys. “You are lovers, aren’t you?”  
Ennis nodded. 

“Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me.”  
“Thanks, Lureen.” Ennis hugged his sister and kissed her face, Jack took her hand and placed a soft kiss on it. “The problem is, father wants me to marry a girl I’ve met only once in India.”   
“You...married?” For Lureen it was a day full of surprises.   
“That’s what he wants… and very soon.”  
“You should talk to him and make him change his mind.”  
“I tried talking to him all the way from India to here, but it wasn’t enough.”  
“Why don’t you run away together?” Lureen looked at Jack but he remained silent.   
“Where could we go without money? Father is sure I have a male lover and he swore to destroy him.”  
“I could give you some money, I’ve got a little sum hidden away.”  
“No, thanks, I’m completely unskilled and Jack was trained as a servant, without good references he’ll never find another house.”  
Jack finally entered the conversation. “I could work in a mine if we need to survive.”  
“I don’t want to see you dead in a few years, I prefer to keep you here with me.” Ennis took Jack’s hand and placed it on his heart, then took Lureen’s and covered the same spot. “We’re a family here and I don’t want us to be separated.”

 

The wedding was lovely, the bride’s face was covered with a thick veil, brought by the groom as a present with the purpose of hiding her face as much as possible during the ceremony.  
Catherine played the wedding march at the organ and everybody told Mrs. Beers she was much better than the old mother of Mrs. Morley. 

Jack didn’t attend, he escorted Lureen to the church but remained outside, smoking nervously. His mind was fighting against his heart. He was too well aware that Ennis had to marry somebody, someday, but he felt so betrayed he wanted to strangle Alma with his own hands. On the outside she appeared like a young little bird, but Jack was sure it was only a good cover, especially for Lord Charles, who seemed enthralled by his new daughter in law. 

Jack was so busy in following Mr Evans’ new instructions - he was now the first under butler, after the previous one had run away with a maid - that he had no time to spy on Alma. The fact that his new role was the result of a complicated piece of team work by the joint forces of Lureen and Mrs Evans was unknown to Jack. 

Ennis was afraid to lose control in front of everybody. The morning of his wedding he wanted only Jack to help him dress, and cried in his arms when he was ready. Two weeks before the wedding date he isolated himself from the world, telling his few relatives and acquaintances and also his fiancee that a dislocation on his shoulder was so painful that it would not allow him to attend social events. Lureen and Mr Evans planned the remaining details. Lord Delmar was in London for the summer season so Ennis and Jack left for the cabin, afraid it could be their last time really alone together.

Lureen was feeling better and she attended the wedding and the following party: she was dressed in blue with a matching hat and a touch of red in her scarf.   
Her eyes were sometimes full of tears, because she couldn’t do anything to avoid the marriage; Lord Charles wasn’t her real father and she didn’t have any power left in the house. Jack checked her often to be sure she was not getting too tired.

When the just married couple left the house in a car - although alma was afraid of that strange iron thing with a noisy engine - to go to the station, where a train would lead them to the honeymoon in Scotland, Lureen went up to Jack.  
“Are you tired?”   
“No, I’m fine. But I want to talk with you. Can we meet when you’re finished?”

Jack took a long breath; it wasn’t the best day of his life, that was for sure. He hoped to retire for the night as soon as possible and to find a pale solace in a bottle. He had already had a few drinks before the ceremony, both with the other servants and during a short private moment in the library with Ennis and Lureen.

But Lureen wasn’t going to change her request.   
“It will be late, we must clean everywhere.” Jack tried to protest.   
“My father will leave in two hours, to go back to London, I can talk to Mr Evans to free you. Please, Jack.”  
He couldn’t refuse Lureen anything when she wore that sad smile. They were so close now, abandoned by Ennis and left alone to face the world.  
“As you wish, Miss Lureen.”   
“I’ll be in my parlour from 10 pm on.” 

 

The room was heated by a warm fire, there were two candles on the mantelpiece. Lureen wore one of her usual home outfits and her long dark hair was loose. She offered Jack a glass of brandy and gestured the armchair to sit down.

They both looked at the flames, unsure of speaking first. It was Lureen who started the conversation.  
“Jack, now that Ennis is married, how do you feel?”  
“I... I’m glad he’s away, now, so I have more time to accept the idea.  
“I’m sure you can do it with a little patience.”  
“These weeks have been hard, he kept on telling me I’m his only love, but now...he’s in bed with Alma. I’m afraid of losing him.” He gripped the wooden arms so hard his knuckles turned white.

“No, Jack, he loves only you, I’m sure. He gave me something for you last week.” Lurren took a small envelope from the top drawer of her writing table and gave it to Jack. “Open it.”

Inside was a necklace with a small gold ring. “Look at the inside.” Lureen suggested.

Jack lifted the ring towards the firelight and read the inscription. “J&E, 15 May 1901.” “Our first time,” he murmured.  
“Ennis told me about it, how sweet it was for him. There is also a letter for you. You must read it now.”  
Lureen blushed a little when Jack opened the second envelope, but it went unnoticed. Jack immediately recognized the strong calligraphy; his forehead started sweating.

Dear Jack, 

Tonight I’ll see your face only, and feel your body only. My kisses will always be for you, and my task for tonight is like that of a doctor with a patient. I have to be her husband but I’m your love and your soulmate. Remember always that I love you and I need you.

Take care of Lureen, and if she asks you something tonight, please comply. I want you to do it. I’m betraying you with my body but you’ll never betray me with her. Please, I ask you to do it. Consider it your wedding gift for me. She loves you so much and she has the right to be a woman for once in her lifetime.

With all my heart and my devotion,

Ennis.

Jack turned toward the young woman and saw her face shining in the pale light. “What can I do for you, Miss Lureen?”

 

TBC  
Please leave your comment. Thanks a lot.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long delay, the other fandom I'm writing about is keeping me busy.

CH 12

“She’s so annoying, always talking about India and her family and the bad weather here. She insists that India is hotter and the sun is always shining. For what I remember they have the most abundant rains of the world.”  
They were in bed naked, spooning like two pieces made for each other.  
“No kids from the honeymoon still?”  
“No, but I hope she’ll catch soon, so I can leave her bed for good. I understand now how a stallion feels. Sometimes I get hard with my hand thinking about you and then open her legs and in two minutes shoot my load inside. It’s awful.”  
As soon as he was back from the honeymoon Ennis asked for separate rooms, let people talk, he didn’t care anymore.  
He was angry with himself, because he was so weak with his father.   
He behaved like him, who married Ennis mother, a widow with a daughter, after divorcing from the first wife, unable to conceive.  
He was sure Martha wasn’t sterile and could gave him babies; so she did, 4 sons in eight years, the third dying of a high fever at the age of 6 and the last born dead.  
Ennis discovered this truth only after her death from his uncle Robert, when they met in London a couple of weeks before the marriage.   
Uncle Robert was very harsh referring to Lord Charles.   
“We didn’t want her to marry him, but she was a widow with a young child and your father played an elaborate courtship, professing love and devotion, swearing he ‘d love Lureen like his own. But he only needed a mare and my sister fell in his net.”  
Ennis was so surprised, so this was the secret her mother kept for all these years, when she cried alone in her room, unaware of a little boy hidden in the closet on the east wall.  
Uncle Robert put a hand on his shoulder to comfort him.  
“If you need something just send a letter to me. I’d be very happy to host you in America, may you decide to come, but I’m afraid your father will not agree.”   
“I’m afraid too. Thanks, Uncle Robert.”  
All his father’s tirades about how much he loved his wife were lies, Ennis knew it but never dare to reply something in front of Lord Delmar.  
He had to accept his arranged marriage, but doing so he was more free to have Jack in his heart.  
Ironic, he thought, how a wife assures automatically a lover to everybody. That’s the way married men had their mistresses.   
“There’s a good thing: I’ve talked to a doctor while in Scotland, he says a woman can conceive only in tree, four days in a month, so I’m free for the rest of the time... free for you.” He added tickling his lover’ abdomen and then going slower, looking for something hard to caress.  
“And you and Lureen?”  
Jack told Ennis what happened as soon as he returned home from the honeymoon. He was a little ashamed but Ennis asked him to know everything.   
“I tried to be gentle and tender, she was afraid but she trusted me.”  
“Thanks Jack, she wanted to be a real woman before .... she was so afraid to remain a virgin.”  
The idea of Lureen’s death was never inserted clearly in their conversations, but both were aware the young woman was destined to a early departure. Lots of doctors told so to Lady Delmar, and Ennis was sure that was one of the reasons that in the end broke her heart.  
“I cannot resist if something happened to Lureen.” Jack added.  
“Me, too, she’s the only woman I love. And the only woman I allow you to love”  
Sometimes Ennis was ashamed because his sister was the only confident about Jack, but Lurren was always different from the other girls   
Three months after Ennis’ wedding Lord Delmar died from a heart attack after a night spent with his current mistress in London, an aspiring theatre actress who never saw a stage before. The woman called Lord Delmar’s club who immediately passed the news to Ennis.  
Ennis avoided any possible scandal giving the woman a large amount of money and arranging for her a one way trip to Italy.  
He saw for the first time the secret apartment his father used in London, full of fine furniture and paintings. He decided to sell everything and give the money to the local church.  
The family mourned Charles Delmar for the time traditions and society required.  
The new Earl - without his pregnant wife, who was pretending morning sickness to be dispensed - attended the funeral with composture and dignity; his stepsister was with him and she seemed healthier than a few months before, people said.   
Ennis felt relieved, now he was the Earl and the imposing shadow of Charles Delmar was meant to dissolve fast.  
He was going to change a lot in his house. It was strange to be the head of the family, something he often imagined especially after Kenneth’s death, but never fully realized.   
The only problem was to be married to a woman he disliked, if only his father have waited with the marriage plan; now there was a baby on the way and Ennis was strangely excited at the idea.   
He dismissed Evans as soon as possible, giving him excellent references and a bonus to make him leave in two weeks. Alma tried to oppose in vain and Jack wasn’t so excited to became head butler – more responsibilities at a still young age and more gossip in the servant’s quarter - but Ennis was irremovible. Since he was young Jack was the one who woke him every morning and he was looking forward to continue that as the master of the house. The idea to see the face of Evans first time in the morning was enough to make a man retch. Besides, Jack and him alone in his own bedroom, with the first light and a sweet morning erection ...how a pleasant way to start the day.

 

Alma was used to meet a group of her friends for the afternoon tea, they were mostly young wives of the neighbourhood, like the wife of the doctor or the vicar; she was sure to be the most powerful and well married woman of the group, so she could play her game of control.  
Lureen was often with them because Alma insisted so much with Ennis, who asked his sister to take part. Lureen knew she was the poor relative, but it was one of the few occasions to meet her only childhood friend, Lasalle, now the wife of the head officer of the local regiment named Randall.   
Alma’s cousin, Sarah, was visiting from India and was the attraction of the afternoon. Lureen remained quiet in a corner, she was feeling strange, having again problems with her stomach.   
She always ate small meals, careful to avoid spiced foods, but now she was often hungry and took three muffins from the plate in a row.  
One of Ennis’ cousins, Juliet, daughter of the oldest sister of Lord Delmar, commented with a hint of sarcasm.   
“Lureen, it is the first time I see you so eager to eat...you’re getting weight, but it should be Alma to get fat, she’s the pregnant woman. Not you.”  
“Who knows Juliet, maybe Lureen has a big secret” Sarah added. “So tell us, Lurren, there is a special present inside you?”  
She was used to be treated like an outcast from these woman, but now enough was enough. She got up and left the room without looking back.  
“Sarah, please, behave yourself, she never had a man.” Lasalle said.  
“Oh yes”, Alma added quickly, “Nobody‘d find her pretty, wouldn’t he?”  
Lasalle looked around searching a bit of empathy for her long time friend, but everybody was laughing and commenting the joke.   
She decide to leave – it could be a permanent leave and she knew it – but her friendship was worth it.  
Lureen reached her room in a blur, she was often hungry now, her clothes were getting strange, and she felt better. Could it be? No, impossible, she and Jack slept together only once and she was a virgin. But Jack went deep in her and he remained there until he finished, kissing her face while repeating tender words.  
She heard a soft knock at the door and opened, imagining one of the maids. Lasalle was visibly worried and put a finger on her lips.   
“Shhh, please let me in.”  
Lureen closed the door and hugged her friend a long.  
“I can’t accept the way Alma treats you. It’s so unfair.”  
“I don’t care anymore, my stepfather was like her. Nothing changes in this house.”  
“You’re a real lady, Lureen, I’d like to slap her face sometimes and stop her silly mouth.”  
“I’m here for Ennis, he needs me. It’s a real torture for him to live with Alma.”  
“My dear, you must take care of yourselves, the last couple months were good for you but what if your illness return?”  
“I don’t know, Lasalle, I’m.....”  
“What’s the matter?”  
“I’m so strange, I’m feeling different.”  
“It’s Jack, isn’t it? You like that boy a lot.”  
Lureen remained silent, the secret between her brother and Jack must remain so, she decided long ago to be the caretaker of that secret, forgetting her own love for Jack Her brother deserved him more than herself; the only time she asked something for herself was the day of the wedding.  
Lureen let Lasalle talk a lot, nodding and answering and adding something not important, but when her friend left she called her maid asking her to find Ennis urgently.  
When her brother arrived Lureen was strongly gripping the back of a chair, lost in memories.

Her eyes were wet when he started moving..  
“Do you want me to stop?”  
“No please, only once, Jack, but I need to know.”  
Jack never bedded a woman before; Ennis remained his one and only desire.  
But with Lureen he soon found there was another way of loving somebody, not the hard and strong rythm he and Ennis often kept, but a more subtle tenderness that went deep, touching a secret place nobody ever entered in.   
He helped Lureen in disrobing and took a cream nightgown from the dresser, inhaling her usual perfume. She went behind a screen and changed her clothes.  
Jack carried her small frame to the bed and carefully put her head on the pillow. Only the soft light of candles in the room.  
He took his trousers off, keeping the shirt and the underwear; he was nervous because no woman saw his body naked after his mother so many years ago. He didn’t have other relationships to compare with, although an external observer would have swore lots of girls would have dreamed a lover like him.  
He kissed her face, her hair, her neck, to let Lureen relax and forget what was going to happen soon.   
His hand went south and found her core, probing it with the smallest movements that made her eyes open wide. He remembered some dialogues heard from the other servants about their sexual exploits and understood Lureen was ready.   
Jack opened his underwear and freed his erection, trying to avoid to touch Lureen with it, but her hand moved and reached for him, lightly caressing his member. Never he imagined a woman could be so bold, but he trusted and respected Lureen with all his heart.   
Jack felt a surge of commotion, strange and amazing, when the small hand closed around the head. He moved forward and asked permission with his eyes.   
Then his member was surrounded by something soft and wet; Jack saw the woman under him reach the unexplored land of pleasure.

Jack was controlling the silver knifes in the dining room when Ennis found him.  
“We have to talk.” He said briefly, just touching Jack’s back to feel his heat.   
Ennis appeared strangely nervous and lead the way to the library with quick steps.  
“Close the door, please and sit down.”  
Jack complied without questioning. Ennis sat at usual place on the couch and took Jack’s hand.  
“I got good news and not so good ones, Jack.”  
Ennis was smirking so Jack didn’t worried too much. When Ennis was in a pleasant mode like now, he was the happiest man on earth.  
“The good first please.”   
“The doctor says that Lureen is feeling very good and her health is improving very much.”  
“I’m very happy for her. How happened?”  
“Simply Jack...the not- so- good news.”  
“Don’t understand.”  
Ennis was openly smiling and took the other hand, pulling Jack toward him.   
“She’s healthier because she’s pregnant.”  
“No, Ennis, it’s Alma expecting.”  
Jack was sure his ears were betraying him, did Ennis really talked about Lureen and a baby?  
“And Lureen, too. Congratulations, Jack.”  
Jack’s mouth opened without words and his whole body shook. Ennis got up and hugged him, afraid he could faint on the library floor. 

The important conversation took place later in Jack’s private parlour after Alma retired for the night   
He saw Lureen at the dinner table but didn’t have the possibility to talk with her.  
Ennis was right, she was glowing and was really beautiful.   
Lureen and Ennis sat on the armchair, Jack moved his leather chair near the fire.  
“Lureen, I’m sorry.” Jack started, keeping his gaze low; he didn’t have the courage to look at her face.  
“Please, Jack, I wanted it, it’s my fault.”  
Ennis stopped a dialogue that was going nowhere.  
“It ‘s nobody’s fault, or better father’s. He played with our lifes and with mother’s. Now we got to find a way to fix this situation.”  
“Dr.Stoutamire is sure Lureen will be safe if she keeps the baby?” Jack was requested by Alma for the planning of Christmas dinner while the doctor visited Lureen, so only Ennis remained with her and caught the expression of the family doctor when he realized the true reason for his call..  
“I want to have my child!” Lureen’s voice was strong, her expression like steel, nobody ever imagined her inner strength. Ennis placed an arm around her slim shoulders.  
“Don’t worry little sister, nobody would touch a finger of your baby. You’ll have my nephew and we’ll grow our children together.”   
“But the doctor…” Jack insisted.  
Jack was embarrassed and ashamed at the same time. He didn’t know what to do or say. Luren took his hands.  
“I’d marry you tomorrow, but I’m only a servant. I’ll do whatever you two decide. If i must go away... Ennis forgive me.”  
Tears were ready to burst from his eyes but Ennis got up and hugged him.  
“It’s all right darling, I’m not angry at you. And I cannot loose you. I’m happy for my sister, I’m sure the doctors will be disappointed to see their diagnosis were all wrong.”  
“But what we’re going to do?”  
“My plan is to tell everybody you two went to the United States to meet Lureen’s relatives. I’ll write to our Uncle Robert to ask his help. Then he‘ll inform me that you two decided to marry there. The news will pass unnoticed after some time. You’ll be back in a few months with the baby and will live here with me. Alma will have hers by then and she’ll be so busy to forget all of us.”


End file.
